Cirque De Soil and Sleeping Dogs

Miss Claire Voyant, French psychic extraordinaire, is now available to bring the past to light. For a small fee, and a glass of quality red wine she will lay out the cards on a lace covered table and divulge ALL that occurred, before you hooked up with wonder boy or girl. Do you really want to know?

Why is it that when we meet someone we have the desire to bring out interrogation lights, FBI style, and shine them intently, albeit harshly, on the past? Illuminated are the BCR (before current relationship) years, in living color- T-shirt and video available compliments of: “Ifigureditout.com” What happened to "don’t ask, don’t tell"? If we are trying to explain who we are and how we arrived at our wondrous self of today does it makes sense to disclose all? Nothing says "here I am", like an “E-vite” to the last 20 years of your life. But will a ringside seat at your personal Cirque de Soil (that would be dirt) help anyone to understand you better in the here and now?

Helping someone to understand our path is noble. To know me is to love me, but how much knowing is necessary? Shouldn’t just being your fabulous self on a regular and consistent basis tell all? If you have a Masters degree in Successful Relationships 101 and a PhD in finally got it Right 102, who cares just how you got there?

Darling Boys and Girls, some visions are better left decorating the distant halls of times gone by. The pretty pictures you paint of that special someone of long ago might not look so good to the pretty someone of today, and that someone may just feel a tinge of green. St. Paddy’s Day aside, very few people look good in green. How easily jealousy can open its celadon eyes in retrospect. Very few of us are so evolved that we do not have a negative reaction to aspects of our lover’s past. The child- support payments and alimony to the witch or warlock of long ago are reminders enough.

Secretly, or not so secretly, we wish we were back in the times of vestal virgins and the object of our affections was true but not tried! 19th Century romantics wake up and taste the flavored lube! There doesn’t seem to be a statute of limitations when it comes to turning back the clock, but why stir up feelings in your new love that can’t possibly have a resolution? Or suddenly disclose new information that is older than the condiments in the fridge door? Neither three year old salsa nor the proverbial can of worms is a pretty site! If someone is asking about your past, than the gates to the city are open and come out, come clean, and let the buyer beware.

Reaction to the past is pointless and will only fan flames that are difficult to contain. Once lit, it takes a fire hose of rational thought and a deluge of the here and now to contain the damage. Let sleeping dogs lie (and god knows there were dogs!) and tell Miss Voyant, you would rather the cards explained how to successfully install a business printer network!


Dear Miss Kitty,
You’re right about it being a man’s job to pop the question. I want to ask my GF everyday but I know it’s not the right time. I just don’t want her to get to the point where she is giving me ultimatums like “either you ask me in the next 6 months or I am walking”. I doubt she would do that to me, but I need to save for a ring and plan out a trip and make it one of the most memorable moments of her life. Is it possible that I could wait too long?
Agonizing in OR

Dear Agonizing,
There is a moment, a special amazing moment that has nothing to do with rings, sunsets, expensive dinners or elaborate plans. That moment is when you are so overwhelmed with love for her that you can not but help ask. You might have a big ring in your pocket (or just pleased to see her) and you might not. Planning is good but so is being swept up in passion and there really is no wrong time with the right one. In fact, sneaky kitty says, that is a really good test! Boys and Girls, is it the time of year that is generating proposal questions? Ancient wisdom dictates that Spring is indeed the best time for seeding the rest of the year, so listen to your heart, not Romeo and Juliet; remember that relationship didn’t work out so well!

Have a naughty day!