Sometimes Three is an Even Number

Miss Kitty,
I was having a conversation with my wife and she asked me if there was anyone that I thought about in a sexual way besides her. The question arose because I never seem to be effected by the opposite sex when they flirt with me. I made a confession that I could not get you off my mind. We were only in there for ten minutes and you spoke to me briefly, but it really touched my “horny gland”. Since then thoughts of you and all kinds of fantasies have been stirring. I have tried to stop them but they won't go away. Can you tell me what the heck I can do to get you out of my mind? By the way, I absolutely love my wife and we have a wonderful relationship, it is just that fantasy has always been brought in via her.
John

Dear John,
Captain Kirk fell in love with a green woman, Lady and the Tramp shared a romantic dinner. Kermit and Miss Piggy? Priceless. Why is it that we can suspend our beliefs when it comes to all sorts of romantic pairings, but feel threatened when it comes to bringing a little fantasy into our own relationships? “It doesn’t matter where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at home.” It’s just a saying, but unless you have very clear, open conversations first, don’t live it without first checking that the kitchen knives are in really bad shape!

Great conversations, as many as needed, are in order here. If someone won’t talk before they act, they are a chicken and not a good person to take on the not- necessarily- tawdry trek to enhance your love life. And, speaking of chicken, don’t get your appetite viewing a five star restaurant and go home to Colonel Saunders expecting Chicken Cordon Bleu. The only free side dish you will get is frustration, and remember, unreal expectation is pre-meditated disappointment, with or without the gravy.

We might be curious about the idea of bringing images and even real people into our very personal world of intimacy, but what happens if you bring in fantasy, turn it into reality and then can’t separate fact from fiction? What if fact separates you?

Like any good program Darling Boys, Girls, and John, rules, boundaries and negotiating tactics are indispensable- especially in the new undiscovered world in which you might like to play. Remember, you are always in charge! The rules of tennis are clearly defined. You each get a side of the net, the ball is served within certain acceptable parameters and cute outfits are encouraged. The benefit of rules are obvious, not to mention that playing tennis and sexy playing have a few things in common besides love.

Negotiating your way though your own personal comfort level is a skill that you will need to hone. You might be fine with your Darling kissing someone else, and then again, maybe all is fair game except for kissing. (I should let my dear readers know that Miss Kitty only kisses Rocket man).

On the trail to adventure, you don’t always know what is just around the bend, regardless of how many pre expedition planning meetings you have. If you are in new territory, a bit of Lewis and Clark if you will, maybe the sight of a grizzly bear is enough to scare you away. Then again, maybe you are comfortable offering the bear a few fresh blueberries…with Sacajawea watching. You won’t always be able to forecast your every move and the all important accompanying feelings, but with a loving and accepting partner love, just like the sky has no limits.

Have a naughty day!