Orange Jumpsuits and Oliver Twist

When it comes to personal prisons, how often are we our own judge, jury and jailer? Why is it we lock ourselves away from the real love that we so desire? Call it the Oliver Twist complex. If we fear that there is a high potential for abandoning ourselves within relationships, it is not surprising that, full of hope, we jump into the deep end fully clothed, and wonder why we can’t swim at all. When we finally emerge - cold, wet, uncomfortable, and unable to enjoy the experience because all that weight was dragging us down, our preconceived personal prison theory confirms itself.

Orphans asking for more are far braver than most of us when it comes to getting what we need and desire. All we really own is our personal freedoms, and it is the ultimate insult when they are lost. There is no remedy, by which we can reclaim them, that is without pain. When we choose not to speak up, our only crime is that we mistake confusion or fear for information seeking and may loose the potential for a spectacularly freeing relationship. If your pattern has been to ask and be denied, it is scary to try again, but it is the only way out of an orange jumpsuit. A truer test of your lover’s intentions has not yet been devised.

Once in a while, a glimpse of the amazing mysteries of life is made known to us through another person. A person to share and understand all that is “Electric” behind the wall of everyday. Yes, a soul mate if you will. Boys and Girls, now is the time to put it all to the test - the true test of the self and what we have learned from our past reluctance to be real. Desperate calculations, the current quiz in “Cosmopolitan” or flying in the face of intuition, are all a subpoena right back to court. Take all the little moments and make them honest, because they add up.

When, in a little gift shop miles from home, a spooky piece of jewelry becomes a possibility, gently and politely decline if you wouldn’t wear it. I can hear you say, “How rude! A gift is a gift and honors the giver”. True, if your kids give you a hideous glass turquoise necklace: you wear it and love it! However, you must be truthful when dealing with another adult - one who is teaching you about yourself.

If not, that pelican necklace will become an albatross around your neck. He will wonder why you don’t wear it when you “seemed” to love it. A true chain reaction that can detonate in precedent-setting ways. Why would you ever want your beloved to be unknowing and in the “wonder” position? That’s one you won’t find in the Kama Sutra, I assure you!

Speak up, with tact of course, and say your truth whenever you can. It is your job to teach someone whom you are, not theirs to blindly try to figure you out. No more guessing, presuming and forecasting emotional weather patterns! Love and honesty will set you free - and this time, you are playing for the highest stakes imaginable. The real deal.


Dear Miss Kitty,
I am contemplating asking my boyfriend to marry me. I know I love him, he loves me and don’t see what is wrong with me “popping the question”. Well?
Ring Hunting in Rincon

Dear Hunting,
Miss Kitty is no stranger to flying in the face of convention, however in this case there is a caveat, that I hold sacred: Rituals have a place. It can be a rite of passage for a man to ask the big one. (Besides it’s the last time he is going to get to ask for anything!) Kidding! If you have a man that is really at peace with this and won’t feel he missed HIS big moment in the moonlight, than go for it. If there is any part of you that is on the fence, stay there and wait - wearing a great dress, just in case.

Have a naughty day!