Miss Kitty,
I was having a conversation with my wife and she asked me if there was anyone that I thought about in a sexual way besides her. The question arose because I never seem to be effected by the opposite sex when they flirt with me. I made a confession that I could not get you off my mind. We were only in there for ten minutes and you spoke to me briefly, but it really touched my “horny gland”. Since then thoughts of you and all kinds of fantasies have been stirring. I have tried to stop them but they won't go away. Can you tell me what the heck I can do to get you out of my mind? By the way, I absolutely love my wife and we have a wonderful relationship, it is just that fantasy has always been brought in via her.
John
Dear John,
Captain Kirk fell in love with a green woman, Lady and the Tramp shared a romantic dinner. Kermit and Miss Piggy? Priceless. Why is it that we can suspend our beliefs when it comes to all sorts of romantic pairings, but feel threatened when it comes to bringing a little fantasy into our own relationships? “It doesn’t matter where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at home.” It’s just a saying, but unless you have very clear, open conversations first, don’t live it without first checking that the kitchen knives are in really bad shape!
Great conversations, as many as needed, are in order here. If someone won’t talk before they act, they are a chicken and not a good person to take on the not- necessarily- tawdry trek to enhance your love life. And, speaking of chicken, don’t get your appetite viewing a five star restaurant and go home to Colonel Saunders expecting Chicken Cordon Bleu. The only free side dish you will get is frustration, and remember, unreal expectation is pre-meditated disappointment, with or without the gravy.
We might be curious about the idea of bringing images and even real people into our very personal world of intimacy, but what happens if you bring in fantasy, turn it into reality and then can’t separate fact from fiction? What if fact separates you?
Like any good program Darling Boys, Girls, and John, rules, boundaries and negotiating tactics are indispensable- especially in the new undiscovered world in which you might like to play. Remember, you are always in charge! The rules of tennis are clearly defined. You each get a side of the net, the ball is served within certain acceptable parameters and cute outfits are encouraged. The benefit of rules are obvious, not to mention that playing tennis and sexy playing have a few things in common besides love.
Negotiating your way though your own personal comfort level is a skill that you will need to hone. You might be fine with your Darling kissing someone else, and then again, maybe all is fair game except for kissing. (I should let my dear readers know that Miss Kitty only kisses Rocket man).
On the trail to adventure, you don’t always know what is just around the bend, regardless of how many pre expedition planning meetings you have. If you are in new territory, a bit of Lewis and Clark if you will, maybe the sight of a grizzly bear is enough to scare you away. Then again, maybe you are comfortable offering the bear a few fresh blueberries…with Sacajawea watching. You won’t always be able to forecast your every move and the all important accompanying feelings, but with a loving and accepting partner love, just like the sky has no limits.
Have a naughty day!
Profile
Friday, March 30, 2007
Friday, March 23, 2007
Cirque De Soil and Sleeping Dogs
Miss Claire Voyant, French psychic extraordinaire, is now available to bring the past to light. For a small fee, and a glass of quality red wine she will lay out the cards on a lace covered table and divulge ALL that occurred, before you hooked up with wonder boy or girl. Do you really want to know?
Why is it that when we meet someone we have the desire to bring out interrogation lights, FBI style, and shine them intently, albeit harshly, on the past? Illuminated are the BCR (before current relationship) years, in living color- T-shirt and video available compliments of: “Ifigureditout.com” What happened to "don’t ask, don’t tell"? If we are trying to explain who we are and how we arrived at our wondrous self of today does it makes sense to disclose all? Nothing says "here I am", like an “E-vite” to the last 20 years of your life. But will a ringside seat at your personal Cirque de Soil (that would be dirt) help anyone to understand you better in the here and now?
Helping someone to understand our path is noble. To know me is to love me, but how much knowing is necessary? Shouldn’t just being your fabulous self on a regular and consistent basis tell all? If you have a Masters degree in Successful Relationships 101 and a PhD in finally got it Right 102, who cares just how you got there?
Darling Boys and Girls, some visions are better left decorating the distant halls of times gone by. The pretty pictures you paint of that special someone of long ago might not look so good to the pretty someone of today, and that someone may just feel a tinge of green. St. Paddy’s Day aside, very few people look good in green. How easily jealousy can open its celadon eyes in retrospect. Very few of us are so evolved that we do not have a negative reaction to aspects of our lover’s past. The child- support payments and alimony to the witch or warlock of long ago are reminders enough.
Secretly, or not so secretly, we wish we were back in the times of vestal virgins and the object of our affections was true but not tried! 19th Century romantics wake up and taste the flavored lube! There doesn’t seem to be a statute of limitations when it comes to turning back the clock, but why stir up feelings in your new love that can’t possibly have a resolution? Or suddenly disclose new information that is older than the condiments in the fridge door? Neither three year old salsa nor the proverbial can of worms is a pretty site! If someone is asking about your past, than the gates to the city are open and come out, come clean, and let the buyer beware.
Reaction to the past is pointless and will only fan flames that are difficult to contain. Once lit, it takes a fire hose of rational thought and a deluge of the here and now to contain the damage. Let sleeping dogs lie (and god knows there were dogs!) and tell Miss Voyant, you would rather the cards explained how to successfully install a business printer network!
Dear Miss Kitty,
You’re right about it being a man’s job to pop the question. I want to ask my GF everyday but I know it’s not the right time. I just don’t want her to get to the point where she is giving me ultimatums like “either you ask me in the next 6 months or I am walking”. I doubt she would do that to me, but I need to save for a ring and plan out a trip and make it one of the most memorable moments of her life. Is it possible that I could wait too long?
Agonizing in OR
Dear Agonizing,
There is a moment, a special amazing moment that has nothing to do with rings, sunsets, expensive dinners or elaborate plans. That moment is when you are so overwhelmed with love for her that you can not but help ask. You might have a big ring in your pocket (or just pleased to see her) and you might not. Planning is good but so is being swept up in passion and there really is no wrong time with the right one. In fact, sneaky kitty says, that is a really good test! Boys and Girls, is it the time of year that is generating proposal questions? Ancient wisdom dictates that Spring is indeed the best time for seeding the rest of the year, so listen to your heart, not Romeo and Juliet; remember that relationship didn’t work out so well!
Have a naughty day!
Why is it that when we meet someone we have the desire to bring out interrogation lights, FBI style, and shine them intently, albeit harshly, on the past? Illuminated are the BCR (before current relationship) years, in living color- T-shirt and video available compliments of: “Ifigureditout.com” What happened to "don’t ask, don’t tell"? If we are trying to explain who we are and how we arrived at our wondrous self of today does it makes sense to disclose all? Nothing says "here I am", like an “E-vite” to the last 20 years of your life. But will a ringside seat at your personal Cirque de Soil (that would be dirt) help anyone to understand you better in the here and now?
Helping someone to understand our path is noble. To know me is to love me, but how much knowing is necessary? Shouldn’t just being your fabulous self on a regular and consistent basis tell all? If you have a Masters degree in Successful Relationships 101 and a PhD in finally got it Right 102, who cares just how you got there?
Darling Boys and Girls, some visions are better left decorating the distant halls of times gone by. The pretty pictures you paint of that special someone of long ago might not look so good to the pretty someone of today, and that someone may just feel a tinge of green. St. Paddy’s Day aside, very few people look good in green. How easily jealousy can open its celadon eyes in retrospect. Very few of us are so evolved that we do not have a negative reaction to aspects of our lover’s past. The child- support payments and alimony to the witch or warlock of long ago are reminders enough.
Secretly, or not so secretly, we wish we were back in the times of vestal virgins and the object of our affections was true but not tried! 19th Century romantics wake up and taste the flavored lube! There doesn’t seem to be a statute of limitations when it comes to turning back the clock, but why stir up feelings in your new love that can’t possibly have a resolution? Or suddenly disclose new information that is older than the condiments in the fridge door? Neither three year old salsa nor the proverbial can of worms is a pretty site! If someone is asking about your past, than the gates to the city are open and come out, come clean, and let the buyer beware.
Reaction to the past is pointless and will only fan flames that are difficult to contain. Once lit, it takes a fire hose of rational thought and a deluge of the here and now to contain the damage. Let sleeping dogs lie (and god knows there were dogs!) and tell Miss Voyant, you would rather the cards explained how to successfully install a business printer network!
Dear Miss Kitty,
You’re right about it being a man’s job to pop the question. I want to ask my GF everyday but I know it’s not the right time. I just don’t want her to get to the point where she is giving me ultimatums like “either you ask me in the next 6 months or I am walking”. I doubt she would do that to me, but I need to save for a ring and plan out a trip and make it one of the most memorable moments of her life. Is it possible that I could wait too long?
Agonizing in OR
Dear Agonizing,
There is a moment, a special amazing moment that has nothing to do with rings, sunsets, expensive dinners or elaborate plans. That moment is when you are so overwhelmed with love for her that you can not but help ask. You might have a big ring in your pocket (or just pleased to see her) and you might not. Planning is good but so is being swept up in passion and there really is no wrong time with the right one. In fact, sneaky kitty says, that is a really good test! Boys and Girls, is it the time of year that is generating proposal questions? Ancient wisdom dictates that Spring is indeed the best time for seeding the rest of the year, so listen to your heart, not Romeo and Juliet; remember that relationship didn’t work out so well!
Have a naughty day!
Friday, March 16, 2007
James Bond and the Return of the Hand Kiss.
Does a doll- size replica of James Bond occupy a place in our inner shrine because he is: A. An effective killing machine, B. The patron saint of Vodka, or, C. One of the last known men in the later half of the 20th century with any obvious charm. If you aimed your rusty Cupid’s bow at C, congratulations! You win Miss Kitty’s “Guide to Neat, never sloppy hand kisses and other long forgotten ways of the truly charming”.
“Charm” has hired a sky writer and is plastering ‘I surrender”, “Useless”, and “What’s the point’ across most of the North American sky- and how can you blame it? Like an Amish reading “Popular Mechanics”, there’s little point to being a charmer if there’s a lack of understanding or trust from the charmee.
Women studiously perusing “Match.com”, ‘J-date” and a host of other valuable, but mis-implemented resources insist they can’t find a good man. Well girls, would you recognize Prince Charming if he didn’t drive a BMW, didn’t have a law degree and had only one ex-wife? Miss Kitty wonders about the reality of this “good man shortage”, but much reading between the dot-com profile lines is required –and there are a lot of jaded women around, with some very good reasons.
According to the Chinese, jade is lucky, so shouldn’t being “jaded”make you twice as lucky? I offer you a lucky jade bracelet, my version of “jaded”. Feel better? Of course you do! You have new jewelry, which is always nice and this piece will give you amazing perception, ward off players, and is the fashion statement for Spring 2007. Best of all, when you are wearing the bracelet, you can pretend you are in 1940 and all men are Cary Grant. What bliss!
By the way, Boys and Girls, no more first dates at Starbucks. That isn’t a date- it’s a caffeine-clouded interview. Unless you are planning on making dating a life long career, a place with some romance goes a lot further than paper cups of java. These “Coffee dates” assume that a first date is an all or nothing opportunity. We need to make more of an effort! I’m not saying dinner at Sevilla has to be the order of the day,(not unless some particularly stunning email has out classed the first meeting right into space), but something special in a real glass, in lovely surroundings isn’t difficult to achieve.
James Bond, waiting in line at a counter to order coffee and a blueberry cake for a first date? A tall order indeed. Surroundings do matter, because not all of us are comfortable on the first go- round and no one looks good under harsh lighting conditions.
In that critical initial stage, give each other a chance to play and see if witty banter, a long glance, or a breathless moment that has nothing to do with air quality: Having the patience to let things develop is a much better method than immediately gauging where he falls or she falls on the loser scale! If we are first secure with ourselves then we can trust our judgment. With trust, we can be gracious and invite the niceties, the slow and gentle twists and turns of flirting and see what transpires Put your trust on a silver platter with a decanter of take-your -time, because it can take time to know someone, or even to know if you want to make a second date.
Chivalry, sweet whispers, and long clothing- on conversations haven’t been on the menu for awhile and it’s not surprising. With all the confusing information in every glossy and trendy magazine, men think that modern woman are a cross between Samantha of “Sex in the City” fame and the inhabitants of Wonder Woman Island: a mythical place where woman are extraordinary strong, stunning and only need men for relatively short spans of time.
How can any guy (except Rocketman) provide 47 orgasms a minute, cook like Emeril and, BAM, carry on a witty conversation a la Bruce Willis, c. 1980 Moonlighting? “Forget it” men say, and they retreat to their flat screens. Alone, safe and with a credit card for all the “Romance” you may ever need. “Romance” at porn-speed, where a light hearted game of pick up sticks with the girl next door turns into “Nail the tail on the donkey in no time”. This only brings erroneous confirmation that women are paragons of unending need and their men can be replaced by a wide variety of options.
Nothing could be further from the truth. The time honored delights of genuinely sweet words, a meaningful glance and (I can’t believe I am saying this), romantic walks on the beach go a along way to towards the golden gates of true love or a better than average first date. Ultimately, we want each other to be both different and equal. How’s that for new math!
Have a naughty day!
“Charm” has hired a sky writer and is plastering ‘I surrender”, “Useless”, and “What’s the point’ across most of the North American sky- and how can you blame it? Like an Amish reading “Popular Mechanics”, there’s little point to being a charmer if there’s a lack of understanding or trust from the charmee.
Women studiously perusing “Match.com”, ‘J-date” and a host of other valuable, but mis-implemented resources insist they can’t find a good man. Well girls, would you recognize Prince Charming if he didn’t drive a BMW, didn’t have a law degree and had only one ex-wife? Miss Kitty wonders about the reality of this “good man shortage”, but much reading between the dot-com profile lines is required –and there are a lot of jaded women around, with some very good reasons.
According to the Chinese, jade is lucky, so shouldn’t being “jaded”make you twice as lucky? I offer you a lucky jade bracelet, my version of “jaded”. Feel better? Of course you do! You have new jewelry, which is always nice and this piece will give you amazing perception, ward off players, and is the fashion statement for Spring 2007. Best of all, when you are wearing the bracelet, you can pretend you are in 1940 and all men are Cary Grant. What bliss!
By the way, Boys and Girls, no more first dates at Starbucks. That isn’t a date- it’s a caffeine-clouded interview. Unless you are planning on making dating a life long career, a place with some romance goes a lot further than paper cups of java. These “Coffee dates” assume that a first date is an all or nothing opportunity. We need to make more of an effort! I’m not saying dinner at Sevilla has to be the order of the day,(not unless some particularly stunning email has out classed the first meeting right into space), but something special in a real glass, in lovely surroundings isn’t difficult to achieve.
James Bond, waiting in line at a counter to order coffee and a blueberry cake for a first date? A tall order indeed. Surroundings do matter, because not all of us are comfortable on the first go- round and no one looks good under harsh lighting conditions.
In that critical initial stage, give each other a chance to play and see if witty banter, a long glance, or a breathless moment that has nothing to do with air quality: Having the patience to let things develop is a much better method than immediately gauging where he falls or she falls on the loser scale! If we are first secure with ourselves then we can trust our judgment. With trust, we can be gracious and invite the niceties, the slow and gentle twists and turns of flirting and see what transpires Put your trust on a silver platter with a decanter of take-your -time, because it can take time to know someone, or even to know if you want to make a second date.
Chivalry, sweet whispers, and long clothing- on conversations haven’t been on the menu for awhile and it’s not surprising. With all the confusing information in every glossy and trendy magazine, men think that modern woman are a cross between Samantha of “Sex in the City” fame and the inhabitants of Wonder Woman Island: a mythical place where woman are extraordinary strong, stunning and only need men for relatively short spans of time.
How can any guy (except Rocketman) provide 47 orgasms a minute, cook like Emeril and, BAM, carry on a witty conversation a la Bruce Willis, c. 1980 Moonlighting? “Forget it” men say, and they retreat to their flat screens. Alone, safe and with a credit card for all the “Romance” you may ever need. “Romance” at porn-speed, where a light hearted game of pick up sticks with the girl next door turns into “Nail the tail on the donkey in no time”. This only brings erroneous confirmation that women are paragons of unending need and their men can be replaced by a wide variety of options.
Nothing could be further from the truth. The time honored delights of genuinely sweet words, a meaningful glance and (I can’t believe I am saying this), romantic walks on the beach go a along way to towards the golden gates of true love or a better than average first date. Ultimately, we want each other to be both different and equal. How’s that for new math!
Have a naughty day!
Friday, March 9, 2007
Orange Jumpsuits and Oliver Twist
When it comes to personal prisons, how often are we our own judge, jury and jailer? Why is it we lock ourselves away from the real love that we so desire? Call it the Oliver Twist complex. If we fear that there is a high potential for abandoning ourselves within relationships, it is not surprising that, full of hope, we jump into the deep end fully clothed, and wonder why we can’t swim at all. When we finally emerge - cold, wet, uncomfortable, and unable to enjoy the experience because all that weight was dragging us down, our preconceived personal prison theory confirms itself.
Orphans asking for more are far braver than most of us when it comes to getting what we need and desire. All we really own is our personal freedoms, and it is the ultimate insult when they are lost. There is no remedy, by which we can reclaim them, that is without pain. When we choose not to speak up, our only crime is that we mistake confusion or fear for information seeking and may loose the potential for a spectacularly freeing relationship. If your pattern has been to ask and be denied, it is scary to try again, but it is the only way out of an orange jumpsuit. A truer test of your lover’s intentions has not yet been devised.
Once in a while, a glimpse of the amazing mysteries of life is made known to us through another person. A person to share and understand all that is “Electric” behind the wall of everyday. Yes, a soul mate if you will. Boys and Girls, now is the time to put it all to the test - the true test of the self and what we have learned from our past reluctance to be real. Desperate calculations, the current quiz in “Cosmopolitan” or flying in the face of intuition, are all a subpoena right back to court. Take all the little moments and make them honest, because they add up.
When, in a little gift shop miles from home, a spooky piece of jewelry becomes a possibility, gently and politely decline if you wouldn’t wear it. I can hear you say, “How rude! A gift is a gift and honors the giver”. True, if your kids give you a hideous glass turquoise necklace: you wear it and love it! However, you must be truthful when dealing with another adult - one who is teaching you about yourself.
If not, that pelican necklace will become an albatross around your neck. He will wonder why you don’t wear it when you “seemed” to love it. A true chain reaction that can detonate in precedent-setting ways. Why would you ever want your beloved to be unknowing and in the “wonder” position? That’s one you won’t find in the Kama Sutra, I assure you!
Speak up, with tact of course, and say your truth whenever you can. It is your job to teach someone whom you are, not theirs to blindly try to figure you out. No more guessing, presuming and forecasting emotional weather patterns! Love and honesty will set you free - and this time, you are playing for the highest stakes imaginable. The real deal.
Dear Miss Kitty,
I am contemplating asking my boyfriend to marry me. I know I love him, he loves me and don’t see what is wrong with me “popping the question”. Well?
Ring Hunting in Rincon
Dear Hunting,
Miss Kitty is no stranger to flying in the face of convention, however in this case there is a caveat, that I hold sacred: Rituals have a place. It can be a rite of passage for a man to ask the big one. (Besides it’s the last time he is going to get to ask for anything!) Kidding! If you have a man that is really at peace with this and won’t feel he missed HIS big moment in the moonlight, than go for it. If there is any part of you that is on the fence, stay there and wait - wearing a great dress, just in case.
Have a naughty day!
Orphans asking for more are far braver than most of us when it comes to getting what we need and desire. All we really own is our personal freedoms, and it is the ultimate insult when they are lost. There is no remedy, by which we can reclaim them, that is without pain. When we choose not to speak up, our only crime is that we mistake confusion or fear for information seeking and may loose the potential for a spectacularly freeing relationship. If your pattern has been to ask and be denied, it is scary to try again, but it is the only way out of an orange jumpsuit. A truer test of your lover’s intentions has not yet been devised.
Once in a while, a glimpse of the amazing mysteries of life is made known to us through another person. A person to share and understand all that is “Electric” behind the wall of everyday. Yes, a soul mate if you will. Boys and Girls, now is the time to put it all to the test - the true test of the self and what we have learned from our past reluctance to be real. Desperate calculations, the current quiz in “Cosmopolitan” or flying in the face of intuition, are all a subpoena right back to court. Take all the little moments and make them honest, because they add up.
When, in a little gift shop miles from home, a spooky piece of jewelry becomes a possibility, gently and politely decline if you wouldn’t wear it. I can hear you say, “How rude! A gift is a gift and honors the giver”. True, if your kids give you a hideous glass turquoise necklace: you wear it and love it! However, you must be truthful when dealing with another adult - one who is teaching you about yourself.
If not, that pelican necklace will become an albatross around your neck. He will wonder why you don’t wear it when you “seemed” to love it. A true chain reaction that can detonate in precedent-setting ways. Why would you ever want your beloved to be unknowing and in the “wonder” position? That’s one you won’t find in the Kama Sutra, I assure you!
Speak up, with tact of course, and say your truth whenever you can. It is your job to teach someone whom you are, not theirs to blindly try to figure you out. No more guessing, presuming and forecasting emotional weather patterns! Love and honesty will set you free - and this time, you are playing for the highest stakes imaginable. The real deal.
Dear Miss Kitty,
I am contemplating asking my boyfriend to marry me. I know I love him, he loves me and don’t see what is wrong with me “popping the question”. Well?
Ring Hunting in Rincon
Dear Hunting,
Miss Kitty is no stranger to flying in the face of convention, however in this case there is a caveat, that I hold sacred: Rituals have a place. It can be a rite of passage for a man to ask the big one. (Besides it’s the last time he is going to get to ask for anything!) Kidding! If you have a man that is really at peace with this and won’t feel he missed HIS big moment in the moonlight, than go for it. If there is any part of you that is on the fence, stay there and wait - wearing a great dress, just in case.
Have a naughty day!
Friday, March 2, 2007
Hefty Decisions and Not so Glad Bags.
As the days grows longer and infant leaves begin to make their pointy green presence known, we are drawn to sort, cleanse and take stock of what belongs in the present. While cleaning out the garage, closets and kitchen junk drawer, one cannot help but uncover the past which lies in wait with eyes wide open, with its fate yet to be decided. It is the past that demands effort and work, as there is little to do with what is new and fresh. No need to rake under a tree that is full of new leaves.
When a lifetime of relationships, or a relationship of a lifetime, have left tangible evidence, just what does “the stuff” say about where we have been, and more importantly, where we are? What does it mean when we choose either to keep or let it go?
Do the remains of relationships past, the poignant bookmarks, need to be evident within our present? Could the wedding portrait, that lasted longer than the marriage, be viewed as a healthy reminder of your life’s journey? Is the bitter- sweet flash of nostalgia upon coming across old love letters, marked by a sweet smile or a bruise that has never healed? Maybe old love letters have a purpose, they reflect on who you were while providing a paper trail to who you have become.
What do you do with fading bouquets, rings that are in better shape than the promises they sealed and pictures of people who no longer exist as they were? Boys and Girls, it takes courage to bridge the gap between the past and present, literally littered with clutter and precious keepsakes alike.
In times of trial by trashcan, the weak grow agitated and frustrated with the process, abandoning the cleansing rite before the calming and empowering can begin. Like most things: one box, one album, one email folder at a time. Proceed cautiously; the destination is your choice, not your destiny. Where do you really need the most space in your life right now?
Cleaning calls for gentle consistency and patience, a powerful combination, with lots of tea and cookie breaks. You are the white tornado. Be uncompromisingly honest with yourself while sticking to the cleaning schedule you have charted. Do not rush the process, or impatiently force results, that method will lead to regret. Like discarding milk, long past its sell-by-date, you know what you need to do and when you need to do it.
In the end, you will accomplish something great. You will have taken the past and brought it into the present, to be examined by the you of now. The smartest you there has ever been, the one with the clearest vision, the one who has the courage to take out the trash or the courage to keep it, for it’s own intrinsic value. A tangible object has the power to give us many different messages. It is up to us to determine what we need to hear or if we have heard enough.
Dear Miss Kitty,
My friends and I think you and “Rocket Man” make a cute couple and you should go out with him again!
Patti and Co.
Dear Patti
Thank you for the advice! It takes a “Rocket Man” to keep up with yours truly.
P.S. He is amazing!
Dear Miss Kitty
I have had an on and off again relationship with 2 different woman over the last 3 years. They know about each other and neither likes it but both of them want to be with me. It makes me happy, so is it wrong?
Joe
Dear Joe
Excuse the phrase, but we have an oxymoron here. Are you so fabulous that they REALLY both want you? Or do they each really want what they can’t have? Hmmmm, beside the fact that I am amazed you have the energy to write, I am curious that you even question if it is wrong. No one is really having a great time; listen to what you wrote, “Neither likes it”. Disclosure doesn’t imply happy acceptance, and if you care for either, or both of them, why doesn’t their lack of happiness concern you? Put on your pointy green ears, and repeat after me, “The good of the many, outweighs the good of the one”.
Have a naughty day!
When a lifetime of relationships, or a relationship of a lifetime, have left tangible evidence, just what does “the stuff” say about where we have been, and more importantly, where we are? What does it mean when we choose either to keep or let it go?
Do the remains of relationships past, the poignant bookmarks, need to be evident within our present? Could the wedding portrait, that lasted longer than the marriage, be viewed as a healthy reminder of your life’s journey? Is the bitter- sweet flash of nostalgia upon coming across old love letters, marked by a sweet smile or a bruise that has never healed? Maybe old love letters have a purpose, they reflect on who you were while providing a paper trail to who you have become.
What do you do with fading bouquets, rings that are in better shape than the promises they sealed and pictures of people who no longer exist as they were? Boys and Girls, it takes courage to bridge the gap between the past and present, literally littered with clutter and precious keepsakes alike.
In times of trial by trashcan, the weak grow agitated and frustrated with the process, abandoning the cleansing rite before the calming and empowering can begin. Like most things: one box, one album, one email folder at a time. Proceed cautiously; the destination is your choice, not your destiny. Where do you really need the most space in your life right now?
Cleaning calls for gentle consistency and patience, a powerful combination, with lots of tea and cookie breaks. You are the white tornado. Be uncompromisingly honest with yourself while sticking to the cleaning schedule you have charted. Do not rush the process, or impatiently force results, that method will lead to regret. Like discarding milk, long past its sell-by-date, you know what you need to do and when you need to do it.
In the end, you will accomplish something great. You will have taken the past and brought it into the present, to be examined by the you of now. The smartest you there has ever been, the one with the clearest vision, the one who has the courage to take out the trash or the courage to keep it, for it’s own intrinsic value. A tangible object has the power to give us many different messages. It is up to us to determine what we need to hear or if we have heard enough.
Dear Miss Kitty,
My friends and I think you and “Rocket Man” make a cute couple and you should go out with him again!
Patti and Co.
Dear Patti
Thank you for the advice! It takes a “Rocket Man” to keep up with yours truly.
P.S. He is amazing!
Dear Miss Kitty
I have had an on and off again relationship with 2 different woman over the last 3 years. They know about each other and neither likes it but both of them want to be with me. It makes me happy, so is it wrong?
Joe
Dear Joe
Excuse the phrase, but we have an oxymoron here. Are you so fabulous that they REALLY both want you? Or do they each really want what they can’t have? Hmmmm, beside the fact that I am amazed you have the energy to write, I am curious that you even question if it is wrong. No one is really having a great time; listen to what you wrote, “Neither likes it”. Disclosure doesn’t imply happy acceptance, and if you care for either, or both of them, why doesn’t their lack of happiness concern you? Put on your pointy green ears, and repeat after me, “The good of the many, outweighs the good of the one”.
Have a naughty day!
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