James Bond and the Return of the Hand Kiss.

Does a doll- size replica of James Bond occupy a place in our inner shrine because he is: A. An effective killing machine, B. The patron saint of Vodka, or, C. One of the last known men in the later half of the 20th century with any obvious charm. If you aimed your rusty Cupid’s bow at C, congratulations! You win Miss Kitty’s “Guide to Neat, never sloppy hand kisses and other long forgotten ways of the truly charming”.

“Charm” has hired a sky writer and is plastering ‘I surrender”, “Useless”, and “What’s the point’ across most of the North American sky- and how can you blame it? Like an Amish reading “Popular Mechanics”, there’s little point to being a charmer if there’s a lack of understanding or trust from the charmee.

Women studiously perusing “Match.com”, ‘J-date” and a host of other valuable, but mis-implemented resources insist they can’t find a good man. Well girls, would you recognize Prince Charming if he didn’t drive a BMW, didn’t have a law degree and had only one ex-wife? Miss Kitty wonders about the reality of this “good man shortage”, but much reading between the dot-com profile lines is required –and there are a lot of jaded women around, with some very good reasons.

According to the Chinese, jade is lucky, so shouldn’t being “jaded”make you twice as lucky? I offer you a lucky jade bracelet, my version of “jaded”. Feel better? Of course you do! You have new jewelry, which is always nice and this piece will give you amazing perception, ward off players, and is the fashion statement for Spring 2007. Best of all, when you are wearing the bracelet, you can pretend you are in 1940 and all men are Cary Grant. What bliss!

By the way, Boys and Girls, no more first dates at Starbucks. That isn’t a date- it’s a caffeine-clouded interview. Unless you are planning on making dating a life long career, a place with some romance goes a lot further than paper cups of java. These “Coffee dates” assume that a first date is an all or nothing opportunity. We need to make more of an effort! I’m not saying dinner at Sevilla has to be the order of the day,(not unless some particularly stunning email has out classed the first meeting right into space), but something special in a real glass, in lovely surroundings isn’t difficult to achieve.

James Bond, waiting in line at a counter to order coffee and a blueberry cake for a first date? A tall order indeed. Surroundings do matter, because not all of us are comfortable on the first go- round and no one looks good under harsh lighting conditions.

In that critical initial stage, give each other a chance to play and see if witty banter, a long glance, or a breathless moment that has nothing to do with air quality: Having the patience to let things develop is a much better method than immediately gauging where he falls or she falls on the loser scale! If we are first secure with ourselves then we can trust our judgment. With trust, we can be gracious and invite the niceties, the slow and gentle twists and turns of flirting and see what transpires Put your trust on a silver platter with a decanter of take-your -time, because it can take time to know someone, or even to know if you want to make a second date.

Chivalry, sweet whispers, and long clothing- on conversations haven’t been on the menu for awhile and it’s not surprising. With all the confusing information in every glossy and trendy magazine, men think that modern woman are a cross between Samantha of “Sex in the City” fame and the inhabitants of Wonder Woman Island: a mythical place where woman are extraordinary strong, stunning and only need men for relatively short spans of time.

How can any guy (except Rocketman) provide 47 orgasms a minute, cook like Emeril and, BAM, carry on a witty conversation a la Bruce Willis, c. 1980 Moonlighting? “Forget it” men say, and they retreat to their flat screens. Alone, safe and with a credit card for all the “Romance” you may ever need. “Romance” at porn-speed, where a light hearted game of pick up sticks with the girl next door turns into “Nail the tail on the donkey in no time”. This only brings erroneous confirmation that women are paragons of unending need and their men can be replaced by a wide variety of options.

Nothing could be further from the truth. The time honored delights of genuinely sweet words, a meaningful glance and (I can’t believe I am saying this), romantic walks on the beach go a along way to towards the golden gates of true love or a better than average first date. Ultimately, we want each other to be both different and equal. How’s that for new math!

Have a naughty day!