Friday, August 21, 2009

The obvious will make its presence known

Dear Miss Kitty,
I met a guy a few weeks ago and we are spending quite a bit of time together. I am taking it easy and he seems like he’s rushing things a bit. Nothing that I can’t handle, but I wonder why? Most of my dating life, it has been the other way around. Do you think there is something weird going on? Should I ask him why he is so in to me?
K.K. Santa Barbara


Dear K.K,
Sweet white ducks gently paddling around on the calm surface of a pond can be weird if we want them to be. Swimming around in not so random patterns, we can wonder as to their methods and madness. When one after another decides to swiftly fly away we can wonder as to what made them leave in such a hurry? Do ducks really have to be anywhere?

Making sense of things - or trying to anyway - now supplants baseball as the great American pastime. There is always a friend, a chat line or a random stranger that will help us to peruse the peruse-able and just about anything can be put under a microscope for a closer look. Like a cat on the bed, looking at un-see-able specters, we force a desire to see what isn’t always there. Is this scrutiny really needed to allow our intuition to make a call? Could we let what we can’t understand remain just that: not explainable for now? Do we really need to pay Esmeralda forty bucks to know all and see all?

Projecting names and theories to what is new, difficult, or plain-old mysterious makes us feel safe. Information, even if it is incorrect, gives us a road map in which to make future steps. But how can the future, the definition of guesswork ever be 100% reliable? It can’t - and put those names and theory anywhere near a microscope and what emerges is usually just more questions, and opportunities for mis-steps to come.

Darling K.K. Boys and Girls, in the beginning of a relationship, all bets are off as to getting completely reliable information. The research in this department says that we live in a world where lies of limited consequence are as prevalent as thongs in a hooker’s drawer! There is just no point in asking too many questions since the obvious will eventually make its presence known – if you just let go and let it. You are already doing the best thing you can by taking it nice and slow. Think of romance like a crock-pot, in time it will either be nice and tender or food for Fido.
Have a naughty day!

Friday, August 14, 2009

Ya Think?

Dear Miss Kitty,
"Pitiful", cheating men, telling mates and being honest. Bolderdash. Cheating partners, one rule, only one!! Don’t get caught.
Signed,
Mr. Married Been at it 30 years



Dear Mr. Been at it,
You don’t just find Satan’s nectar available for such easy consumption every day of the week, let alone on this particular Friday. But, Boys and Girls how could there be anything sweeter than a man, this particular man, that sadly to say, needs a big glass of what most of us live on, integrity with or without ice?

Smarting inside from the guilty pleasures of the last 30 years, the desire to speak forth can only be summed up with a big thank you from this Kitty Cat! Gracias, for letting those that trespass on no-no territory in on what life looks like after 30 years of being a bad bad boy. Merci, for confirming without any shadows lurking in doubt, that living the straight and clean path is not only the right way, but the right of all men and women. And finally, Danke schön, for such a conscience lesson into the quandary of my latest favorite thought, does guilt actually have a purpose?

Just out of curiosity, is it possible to replace a fifty cent conscience with a two dollar one? Should one even try? Of course! Anyone that parts with such a precious monkey sticker to get a point across deserves my very best and besides poor baby, is obviously just a little bit riddled with guilt. As the great bard Shakespeare once wrote, "The lady doth protest too much, methinks." In this case, the man but we get the picture….

Guilt, along with his brothers, shame and regret are our friends. Believe or not they share a very important purpose. In fact, they promise to faithfully show up whenever one is even thinking about signing up for a three year tour with Darth Vader. Their comforting presence can be felt when an action is only a whisper of a thought. Try thinking of them as Jiminy Cricket without a song but attitude to spare and they truly become our guardian angels.

However, if their quiet whispers of wisdom were not heard or heard but not obeyed, and dark deeds were done, they are now a serious force to be reckoned with. They can bring the mighty tumbling down and have the capability of making a grown man or woman cry like a little baby. They now have the power to un-do all that is good. And here’s the sobering truth, one day they will have their reckoning. They always do. So channeling Mr. S once again, "the evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones." Ya think? 

Darling Mr. Married, Boys and Girls, even if no one knows what we do, what we are is clear and present in our own mind. So I ask you, if today is your own personal day of reckoning, how do you stand with yourself? How would you like to stand?

Have a naughty day!