In the excited restlessness of something yet to be discovered, keen anticipation on every breath, we play the waiting game. So many fragments of possibilities to ponder, jostling each other for a little limelight in the well dressed, well rehearsed, well of endless opportunities. And then, like a strong current in a restless river, regardless of all the speculation and planning, one is swept up and carried along. What is really in control when what one has created, evolves into something bigger than the both of you?
On this past February 20, 2006 at approx. 6:30 pm (Pacific Time) yours truly and Mr. Jeremy Gordon, contest judge and editor of the Daily Sound were lounging at the most glamorous of bars, a comfortable haven for jet setter and local alike; Fresco at the Beach, both romantic and delectable, the logical choice for the much talked about “contest date.”
Over a splendid Cosmopolitan, it was difficult to focus on much of anything except: Who was this man that had managed to make sense of the senseless- and had put why people cheat in such perfect perspective? Was his apparent wisdom earned the old fashioned way, by trial and gross error? Perhaps he lived up on top of a mountain, the sagacity of the ages flowing through his veins, (like the yogurt he shared with his heard of mountain goats?) Did he simply plagiarize the entire piece from “Be a Real Man in a Minute or Less” in a vain attempt to woo the savvy and apparently un- woo able Miss K? Standing there, in a very cleavage revealing dress, about to have dinner with a stranger, it dawned on Miss K, me, that my crazy idea, a contest, to find out why people cheat was about to turn into a real life encounter with a possibly cheating, yogurt guzzling goat herding player!
While gazing at the rolling Pacific through the sparkling Fresco windows and wondering just what I had gotten myself into - the winner himself strolled in. He wore pure truth as well as he wore the stylish black jacket he sported, obviously bent on making a good impression. Tall, dark and handsome with no goats in sight! Good impression thusly made, the contest “date” turned into a 4 hour intoxicatingly delicious meal, only to be exceeded by the company and conversation. Carole (ask for her) was the server par excellence, her professional grace and “intuition” fully appreciated by the diners, as we ultimately did indeed wish a quiet moment or two.
Yes, Boys and Girls, since you are such loyal and “interested” fans, I will confess. (Oh behave! Miss K doesn’t kiss and tell and neither should you!). Truth can is indeed be stranger than fiction, and always be mindful of just what you set in motion with an “idea”. Our hearts are compasses, pointing us in the direction of love. Regardless of the medium in which you meet, all is destiny in motion.
Note: Due to the abundance of very personal information and engaging conversation topics this report has been edited for both content and length.
Have a naughty day!
To Editor: Santa Barbara Daily Sound -
Thank you, thank you, thank you! As I dreamily recall the awe-inspiring events of last Tuesday night at Fresco at the Beach (F-at-B), I realize that it was one of the most fantastic and delightful times this closet Kitty-fan has experienced in quite some time (if not ever). As I rode the Santa Barbara Inn elevator up to the friendly F-at-B entrance, I could only imagine: Me, a mild-mannered rocket scientist was about to meet and dine with the glamorous and immeasurably talented Miss Kitty. Incredibly, my hail-Mary entrant into her ingenious "Why Do People Cheat" reader contest had been selected over the many other worthy (and quite disappointed, I'm sure) Miss Kitty disciples - and I wasn't keen on spoiling this one-in-a lifetime opportunity to impress the object of my schoolboy-like crush.
I just had to pinch myself once to make sure I wouldn't rudely awake from this encounter and be abruptly thrust back into my ordinary admirer-from-afar reality. As I apprehensively entered the romantically-lit F-at-B bar and set eyes on the eloquent, loquacious vision of the real-in-the-flesh Miss Kitty, coyly smiling at me in her sleek and slinky-sensuous black cocktail dress, I knew this was not a dream, but was indeed very, very real. She handed me a single pink rose, and in the sultriest of voices said simply "Are you sure you're not a writer, Rocket Man?” My dinner-date of a lifetime was underway…
Thank you, Daily Sound (and Miss Kitty), for giving this Rocket Scientist the opportunity to truly see the stars.
Mr. Steve White
Profile
Friday, February 23, 2007
Friday, February 9, 2007
Will you be my kind of Valentine?
When I was a little kitten, Valentine’s Day had all the promise of True Romance. Third grade Romantics- in- training, gave each other handmade Valentine’s and candy hearts that said “Kiss Me”, Be Mine” and “True Love”. Now the same candy hearts, that make a once a year appearance, read like a trashy novel. Today’s five calorie message is “Eat Me”, “Suck Me”, and Miss Kitty won’t even convey to you some of the others! (Put your mind in the gutter and keep going, yup just like that).
What happened to romance? Did it leave the building like Rodney Dangerfield, because it wasn’t getting any respect? Did it become shy and scared, and is hiding out in Cuba with Castro? Like a priceless piece of art, what would it take to restore romance to its original glory?
Real romance is innocent and playful, as well as mischievous and rewarding. It fills our heart- shaped souls as nothing else can. Behind the bakers pristine glass case, true romance beckons with all the decadence and, yes, wholesomeness, for which one justifies eating an éclair. There is lots of calcium in that cream after all!
A piece of precious pastry should never be rushed. One slowly and carefully revels in each individual and separate taste and texture. The satin of dark chocolate, the smoothness that lingers on the roof of the mouth, the delicate layers of air trapped between pastry that was freshly and lovingly made to entice and nourish the soul.
We don’t just want bread. The rest of life is bread. We want something delectable hidden in a pink box, tied up with a black satin ribbon, that appears at midnight, in bed, with a glass of Champagne. Something extravagant that one could easily get used to. Why shouldn’t an éclair become a basic requirement? Is it extravagant to have the best? Are we really just scared that we couldn’t maintain such a high level of quality in a relationship?
When raising the bar one has to stretch, and real growth is painful. To look deep into ourselves and take stock of who we are as men and women takes experiences to reflect upon, and that only comes with time and solo vacations to the top of the mountain.
Alone, with no distractions, we can look down upon the landscape of our lives and contemplate where we have been and why. We can unmask the pain and recognize the promise of what we yearn for. Only when we are true to ourselves, can we be true to someone else. That is when we have something worthy to give. So boys and girls, take a long hard look at where you find yourself today, and thank your lucky stars that everything that has happened to you has made you the wise and lovable self that you are. Then, star by star come down off the mountain, and live your dreams by the light of the sun.
You may now believe that anything and anyone is possible. Did you bring home, firmly in hand, a chart of just where you want to be? A powerful telescope to keep an accurate eye out for something special in the distance? A pocket full of candy hearts that say, “I love you”? If so, you are then in range and on target for Cupid.
Dear Miss Kitty,
What is the right time to move into a horizontal relationship? We have been enjoying each others company, vertically for 3 months now and I don’t want to make a mistake.
Ms. Southern Belle
Dear Ms. Belle,
Well honey, fix me a mint julep and let’s talk! Assuming the health and safety questions have been answered this comes down letting go of expectations and being in the now. A 3 month Spanish Inquisition can revel everything you need to know, other times, you’re just scratching the surface. You know the man honey, not me! If you listen to your body parts, in descending order, brain, heart, etc…. you should come up with what is right for you. And what is right for you, is all that matters. Enjoy the BBQ!
Entertaining, enlightening and downright soul destroying answers have been pouring in for the “Why do people cheat?” contest. My panel of experts is looking for insight into the question of the century, so email your words of wisdom to help@dearmisskitty.com A prize? Dinner with me, or your own date, at Fresco at the Beach. Your answer will be published in the Valentine’s Day edition of the Daily Sound.
What happened to romance? Did it leave the building like Rodney Dangerfield, because it wasn’t getting any respect? Did it become shy and scared, and is hiding out in Cuba with Castro? Like a priceless piece of art, what would it take to restore romance to its original glory?
Real romance is innocent and playful, as well as mischievous and rewarding. It fills our heart- shaped souls as nothing else can. Behind the bakers pristine glass case, true romance beckons with all the decadence and, yes, wholesomeness, for which one justifies eating an éclair. There is lots of calcium in that cream after all!
A piece of precious pastry should never be rushed. One slowly and carefully revels in each individual and separate taste and texture. The satin of dark chocolate, the smoothness that lingers on the roof of the mouth, the delicate layers of air trapped between pastry that was freshly and lovingly made to entice and nourish the soul.
We don’t just want bread. The rest of life is bread. We want something delectable hidden in a pink box, tied up with a black satin ribbon, that appears at midnight, in bed, with a glass of Champagne. Something extravagant that one could easily get used to. Why shouldn’t an éclair become a basic requirement? Is it extravagant to have the best? Are we really just scared that we couldn’t maintain such a high level of quality in a relationship?
When raising the bar one has to stretch, and real growth is painful. To look deep into ourselves and take stock of who we are as men and women takes experiences to reflect upon, and that only comes with time and solo vacations to the top of the mountain.
Alone, with no distractions, we can look down upon the landscape of our lives and contemplate where we have been and why. We can unmask the pain and recognize the promise of what we yearn for. Only when we are true to ourselves, can we be true to someone else. That is when we have something worthy to give. So boys and girls, take a long hard look at where you find yourself today, and thank your lucky stars that everything that has happened to you has made you the wise and lovable self that you are. Then, star by star come down off the mountain, and live your dreams by the light of the sun.
You may now believe that anything and anyone is possible. Did you bring home, firmly in hand, a chart of just where you want to be? A powerful telescope to keep an accurate eye out for something special in the distance? A pocket full of candy hearts that say, “I love you”? If so, you are then in range and on target for Cupid.
Dear Miss Kitty,
What is the right time to move into a horizontal relationship? We have been enjoying each others company, vertically for 3 months now and I don’t want to make a mistake.
Ms. Southern Belle
Dear Ms. Belle,
Well honey, fix me a mint julep and let’s talk! Assuming the health and safety questions have been answered this comes down letting go of expectations and being in the now. A 3 month Spanish Inquisition can revel everything you need to know, other times, you’re just scratching the surface. You know the man honey, not me! If you listen to your body parts, in descending order, brain, heart, etc…. you should come up with what is right for you. And what is right for you, is all that matters. Enjoy the BBQ!
Entertaining, enlightening and downright soul destroying answers have been pouring in for the “Why do people cheat?” contest. My panel of experts is looking for insight into the question of the century, so email your words of wisdom to help@dearmisskitty.com A prize? Dinner with me, or your own date, at Fresco at the Beach. Your answer will be published in the Valentine’s Day edition of the Daily Sound.
Friday, February 2, 2007
Fantasy, Frontier and “Practical Land”
If successful relationships were easy, every one would have one. Isn’t that what they used to say about everything other than a relationship? It seems as though it was easier to find work during the Depression than a lifelong partner in this day and age. The truly- successful- happily- ever-after relationship is akin to discovering a new and very distant planet, with life on it. Good, maybe there is someone on it to date!
Our excellent dating credentials don’t guarantee anything and what does it take for someone to recognize that we are good catch? Not a good catch of the day. You would think that someone, like Walt Disney, gifted at fantasy and business would have had it figured out. Did he have a bad ride in “Fantasyland”? Maybe that explains his “Frontier Land” approach to relationships. He managed to slip many of his unsuspecting teen brides into the waiting arms of teen princes without the supposed puritanical 50’s audience ever batting a false eyelash. All those girls had to do was lose a shoe, fall asleep or take fruit from a stranger to get a guy. None of those actions were very proactive! Holy $8 ice cream bar Batman, does acting dumb actually work?
The simplest ride at Disneyland, “It’s a Small World”, is also the most popular. Really! Men line up for hours just to sit in a little boat, being rocked by gentle waters, doing absolutely nothing. They are surrounded by beautiful girls, scantily clad in their native costumes. Oh yes, and they are all about waist high. It’s like watching the Super Bowl just for the Half Time Show. Is being a grown up, with grown up expectations, aspirations, and a life to take care of, just too much work?
Except for the Fallible Fairies, Evil Stepmothers, and Wicked Witches, there are no “women” of substance to help Cinderella, Snow White, Beauty, Jasmine, and The Little Mermaid. The tender teens are on their own with no moms. Alright, Dumbo had a mom, but she was taken away in chains and I can’t even go into the Bambi thing! The boys don’t get an E ticket ride either. Prince Charming never mentions his parents; Aladdin is an orphan and Peter Pan? A love- hate relationship with an older man with a hook. Miss K’s favorite? A 16 year old teen living with 7 guys, all with a size complex!
You know that popcorn shouldn’t cost $9, but if you have never seen or experienced a healthy and normal adult relationship, would you know it if you had it? You don’t learn much about life singing to blue birds and wearing big dresses in the woods. The only advice you get from talking chipmunks is where to hide your nuts.
Take off your mouse ears, boys and girls; it is time to leave the theme park and don’t take the pumpkin, you will smell bad and get seeds in your hair. Living a fantasy is really chaos in the making. It is the everyday that ultimately counts, so don’t be shy about sharing 3 years of tax returns, a clean bill of health and meeting the friends and family early. “Practical Land” is worth standing in line for and you know what happens after you do dishes together…
Have a naughty day!
Entertaining, enlightening and downright soul destroying answers have been pouring in for the “Why do people cheat?” contest. My panel of experts is looking for insight into the question of the century, so email your words of wisdom to help@dearmisskitty.com A prize? Dinner with me, or your own date, at Fresco at the Beach. Your answer will also be published in the Valentine’s Day edition of the Daily Sound.
Our excellent dating credentials don’t guarantee anything and what does it take for someone to recognize that we are good catch? Not a good catch of the day. You would think that someone, like Walt Disney, gifted at fantasy and business would have had it figured out. Did he have a bad ride in “Fantasyland”? Maybe that explains his “Frontier Land” approach to relationships. He managed to slip many of his unsuspecting teen brides into the waiting arms of teen princes without the supposed puritanical 50’s audience ever batting a false eyelash. All those girls had to do was lose a shoe, fall asleep or take fruit from a stranger to get a guy. None of those actions were very proactive! Holy $8 ice cream bar Batman, does acting dumb actually work?
The simplest ride at Disneyland, “It’s a Small World”, is also the most popular. Really! Men line up for hours just to sit in a little boat, being rocked by gentle waters, doing absolutely nothing. They are surrounded by beautiful girls, scantily clad in their native costumes. Oh yes, and they are all about waist high. It’s like watching the Super Bowl just for the Half Time Show. Is being a grown up, with grown up expectations, aspirations, and a life to take care of, just too much work?
Except for the Fallible Fairies, Evil Stepmothers, and Wicked Witches, there are no “women” of substance to help Cinderella, Snow White, Beauty, Jasmine, and The Little Mermaid. The tender teens are on their own with no moms. Alright, Dumbo had a mom, but she was taken away in chains and I can’t even go into the Bambi thing! The boys don’t get an E ticket ride either. Prince Charming never mentions his parents; Aladdin is an orphan and Peter Pan? A love- hate relationship with an older man with a hook. Miss K’s favorite? A 16 year old teen living with 7 guys, all with a size complex!
You know that popcorn shouldn’t cost $9, but if you have never seen or experienced a healthy and normal adult relationship, would you know it if you had it? You don’t learn much about life singing to blue birds and wearing big dresses in the woods. The only advice you get from talking chipmunks is where to hide your nuts.
Take off your mouse ears, boys and girls; it is time to leave the theme park and don’t take the pumpkin, you will smell bad and get seeds in your hair. Living a fantasy is really chaos in the making. It is the everyday that ultimately counts, so don’t be shy about sharing 3 years of tax returns, a clean bill of health and meeting the friends and family early. “Practical Land” is worth standing in line for and you know what happens after you do dishes together…
Have a naughty day!
Entertaining, enlightening and downright soul destroying answers have been pouring in for the “Why do people cheat?” contest. My panel of experts is looking for insight into the question of the century, so email your words of wisdom to help@dearmisskitty.com A prize? Dinner with me, or your own date, at Fresco at the Beach. Your answer will also be published in the Valentine’s Day edition of the Daily Sound.
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