Looking? I don't think so.

When looking at ourselves it is easy to fall into stereotypical “Rat-finalizations” and try to justify our discomforts by accepting behaviors which we don’t like in ourselves. The internet has made it possible for anyone to access just about anything, with the greatest of ease. How nice, but what if we don’t feel truly comfortable with our own viewing choices? (I am speaking about internet porn, which at this time in history, Miss Kitty thinks is a not- nice, anti-relationship, and seriously tacky industry). Do we dismiss un-checked voyeurism as “That’s what people do”? Is it no worse than leaving dirty socks on the bedroom floor?

Just where does the line stop and start, about what is truly acceptable in a committed relationship? How much of our “Human nature” do we wish to acknowledge, when it comes down to “Checking out” other people, on the web, sunning on a beach, or strolling down a sidewalk? Is human nature an excuse for being less than a higher functioning person? Nature has her amazing moments and to be very honest, she is also spooky and vulgar on occasion.

Is it possible to develop a higher level of awareness in the hidden vault of our private thoughts? Here is the Miss Kitty Challenge of the Decade, but only if you think you can play in the higher levels of personal relationship. For a week, every time you find your eyes wandering to a “Fine example of our species”, you must abstain. Your goal is to see whether putting your person on a pedestal of true reverence heightens your relationship to the point, where you no longer choose to visually acknowledge anyone else.

You don’t have to tell him or her; this is your plan. Just observe, watch, and feel if it makes a difference for you. Observe, watch, and see if your person is showing you back the mirror of this new and improved self, in the form of whatever it is that makes you tick happily and wiggle your toes with glee.

Miss Kitty’s theory is, that when we regularly have the greatest admiration, respect and sweet fondness (you, know the biting feeling) for our sweetie, we take our relationship to a consistently better place, and who doesn’t want that? I can hear low growling from the tom -cat community which has embraced the fallacy that “LOOKING” is just fine, thank you very much. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. It’s what men have always done, will always do and there is no harm in it whatsoever. Wake up and smell the saucer of warm milk! Women look just as much as men do but we are infinitely more subtle about it. (That’s why we have eyes in the back of our heads.) And by the way, I am not talking about “People watching” that is free, fun and better than a movie any day. I am speaking about out and out drooling, which you are perfectly aware you are doing. So there.

Viewing all the Grand Canyons you want is purrfectly reasonable when single and looking, single by choice or dating. Go ahead- you need to view a lot of property before you decide on something permanent. Conscience Kitty only kicks in when you are seriously involved in something so worth while, that the MK challenge feels like a great opportunity to make something incredible even better. It can be done and the rewards are nothing less than phenomenal! Isn’t it part of the goal of religion to find our best self? Isn’t it part of the human experience to grow up, and through the various levels of self imposed, continued –quality- control?

The ultimate reality is that it is rare, if not impossible, to find the woman or man who is truly comfortable with their person “Viewing” other people in cyber space, pool-side, or when out with friends. We have lowered the bar by trivializing it as, “They just can’t help it”. We make jokes and compare notes with others, but what remains is that it is devaluing, disrespectful, and breeds distrust. Our brains are bigger than our eyes, so shouldn’t it stand to reason, that in a mutually fulfilling relationship, the intelligent and spiritual awareness of a person would step forward, take responsibility and make the grade that true love REALLY wants?

Maybe part of the dumbing down of our relationship culture is lowering of expectations, based on the premise that boys will be boys and, for that matter, girls will be girls. Well Boys and Girls, the bar is up and if you try to limbo under it, you will just hurt your back.

Have a naughty day!