The present is the time of your life

Dear Miss Kitty,
I just broke up with my girlfriend of 6 years and I am feeling a bit lost. I know it was for the best (for both of us) but I miss the old times. I would like to be able get over it faster than I am. Any suggestions?
Tony, GOLETA


Dear Tony and Graduating Classes of 2010,
As June gloom settles in, Santa Barbara’s very own cloaking device, it heralds that another season has arrived and summer wonders are still under wraps. Break ups, graduation and all of life’s changes are just like that. Be they planned, expected or thrust upon us, change is one of the two constants that you can count on. The other is you.

As David Bowie was strutting his way through the song, “Changes,” he sang,” that time may change me
but I can't trace time.” Even without a heavy application of truly glamorous eye make-up to make us take notice, this is one of life’s’ great truths. There really is no time, just made- up markers to give us the illusion of control within what is certainly a tumultuous experience. The second great truth is that time does not matter or rather it is not an answer of any consequence as to how we should live our lives.

When we are good, within our changes, accepting transitions as something we actually have a say in, we can relax. Perhaps even see the immense opportunity that is the gift within the fog. With change, suddenly comes the intense illumination that aside from ourselves we have control over virtually nothing! Is that a 7.5 on the emotional Richter Scale? What else could bring down thousands of graduation caps from their brief fling upward? Albeit a sobering thought, it is also a revelation like no other. Unveiled is the reality that we, and we alone have control only over ourselves and that is truly as good as it gets. It is as good as it needs to be. Indeed, the best and worst part of being human.

Darling Tony, Class, Boys and Girls, whether leaving love before it sours, or moving on as scheduled to the next level of formal education, the class room called life will continually beckon. This is the one class where no one is ever late, everyone works at their own pace and graduation is one big mystery. It is why the present is the time of your life.
Have a naughty day!