Enjoy the ride

Dear Miss Kitty,
An ex of mine used to use Old Spice Body Wash. Crazy thing is my current BF uses it too. How can I get this particular product out of my life?
Rap, Santa Barbara

Dear Rap,
Old Spice? Are you dating your grandfather? If not follow the following dialogue and all will be well: “Crazy or not, my ex used to use the same wash you do. When I see it in the shower it reminds me of him. When I am in the shower (he will love this part) I like to think of you.” Then present a bottle of something made in this century and take a shower together to seal the deal. You will both be clean, smelling good and have washed the ex out of your hair.



Dear Miss Kitty,
I always hear these wonderful stories about chance meetings my friends had with their significant others. In line for a concert, at the grocery store, walking their dogs at the beach ... and bam ... they're a couple.? I've been single for a while now and am getting tired of the night club scene. I was at Jiffy Lube today, and while I was waiting for my oil change, a good-looking stranger sat beside me. How do you strike up a conversation with someone at such a random place as Jiffy Lube? The whole "So, do you come here often?" line doesn't really work in this situation. Where would you even begin? ??Looking for my chance encounter,
-Tess

Dear Tess,
On a stupendously sunny July day, an attractive woman was flipping through an old issue of Car and Driver while waiting for an oil change. While reading that the car of the year is the Volkswagen Polo and not the Chevy Old Spice, a good-looking stranger made his way to the seat beside her. “So, do you come here often?” she smiled. “Yes, every three thousand miles”. She laughed. Looking down at his hand she didn’t see the glint of a wedding band, so she took the plunge and asked if he would like to go next door and have a coffee while they waited for their cars. “Only if you will split a piece of chocolate cake with me”, he replied without missing a beat.

Will Jiffy Love turn into wedding bells? Or was it just a summer lube and tune? Truth be told, it doesn’t matter. It isn’t the interesting situation or lack of them – what does matter is how self confidence is applied to dating opportunities. Every situation is an opportunity waiting to happen – if you stay aware and have developed the poise, chutzpah and enough courage to break the ice. Does that mean that the hot guy in the glasses at Trader Joe’s with a basket full of frozen veggie sausage is available? No, he might very well have a small tribe of vegans waiting at home, but who cares? Making casual conversation-person to person and regardless of the outcome - is great practice for when the real opportunities drive into your life.

When we put unrealistic pressure on ourselves to never make the mistake of coming across as foolish or forward (or worse yet just wait and hope the other person takes the fearsome opening leap) we limit our dating opportunities to 1988 pickups and mopeds - when there a plenty of exciting Corvettes and BMWs waiting for a test-drive.

Darling Tess, Boys and Girls since the only fear in consorting with “the enemy” is the fear of rejection, practicing really does make perfect. And what’s the worst that can happen? Soon the old knife plunging into your heart upon hearing a “no” is just a little prick! When your perception of the opening-line situation changes from abject fear to “gee, this is fun” you will see the number of opportunities (and “yeses”) start to accelerate like a top fuel dragster. Above all, since the real thing can appear without notice, it makes sense to be well versed in being a good human and to train yourself to enjoy the ride.

Have a naughty day!