Honesty is the best policy

Dear Miss Kitty,
I had a great relationship with a guy for about six months and enjoyed every moment we were together. After this time he started to change in subtle but annoying ways. I thought it was just that the honeymoon dating period had ended. Not so! Slowly I learned things about him that made a mockery of all he had told me. He was just acting and saying things to please me but couldn't keep it up. When I finally asked him about his pretenses he grew very angry and I left as fast as I could. I feel so tricked and stupid.
JD, Ventura

Dear JD,
Once upon a time a man wanted to cross a river, but it was too deep and too swift for him to cross safely. As he sat pondering the wild water, a crocodile swam up to him. It offered to take him across the river on its back. The man was wary and asked if he would be safe. “Of course you will be,” said the croc. The man got onto the crocodile and half way across Toothy flipped the man into the river and started to come towards him with his mouth open ready to bite. The man shrieked “What are you doing?” “I am going to eat you,” said the croc. The man cried out “But you said I would be safe!” The croc said “That is what I said, but I am a crocodile!”
?There are no rules of life that dating has managed to circumvent. Regardless of wolf, croc or cute man outfit, when it seems too good to be true, it probably is. Like the man on the river discovered, there really is no such thing as a free lunch, unless you are the lunch. When someone seems too good to be true or is just so perfect, that is the time to take a breath and slow way down. The odds are fairly high, that they are allowing you to see only the safe side of them.
On display for friends and family is the man or women of the year, maybe the decade. With someone as easy to be around as summer, it is easy to become lulled into a false sense of what is safe and what feels right. The act, however convincing cannot be maintained forever. Due to the fact that water really does seek its own level, it becomes increasingly difficult to maintain the floor show. Once the curtain begins to fall, what is left is closer to what is real. Maybe.
We all show our best side when we first meet a new person; we may act in ways that are not our true selves. How this has become acceptable? Honesty ranks number one on most people’s list of values they expect in a partner. Our expectation is that what we see is what we are getting and when this doesn’t happen we are dumbfounded. Often we wonder why we didn’t or couldn’t see the truth. It is next to impossible when one is dating an academy award worthy winning actor or actress and we shouldn’t blame ourselves.

As tempting as it might be to don a flowery dress for a first date, when you are a jeans-only kind of girl, don’t. A high proportion of failed relationships are due to the camouflage approach and once the jig is up so is the relationship. In other words, when an onion eventually gets peeled there are usually a lot of tears. It might take longer to find a good match but it is better to be authentic right from the start. Why wouldn’t someone want to relax and have the opportunity to be loved for whom they really are? Makes one wonder doesn’t it?

Darling JD, Boys, and Girls, honesty is the best policy, especially if a long term relationship is in your focus. Even if you don’t know or don’t care where something might go, isn’t it better to be able to be able to smile and not worry about the razor-sharp teeth showing?
Have a naughty day!