Gamblers and Undressing for Success

Dear Miss Kitty,
A few weeks ago I met a woman at a club in town and we have been spending a lot of time together. She likes really nice places and I make good money, but it seems that she doesn’t want to spend any time with me, unless we are doing something expensive. I really like her and I have the cash, so that isn’t the problem, I just wonder why some women expect to be doing extravagant things all the time? What is wrong with dinner at home or a nice walk together?
Mike on the Mesa


Dear Mike,
Mythic messages lure us to Sin City; to gather at the temples of endless stimulation of all kinds. As we tread upon the overly ornate carpet, hope springs eternal that we will be a winner- one of the few, the proud, and the lucky.

There are pilgrims of reality, who accurately surmise that the decks are as stacked as the cocktails waitresses who bring round after round, poured with a heavy hand to help you play with an even more heavy hand. In the dating world, as in Vegas, aren’t all who play holding the proverbial half- full glass? Are we gamblers or true blue optimists to place down hard earned cash and let the dice fall where they may?

An optimist is classified as 1. Someone who usually expects a favorable outcome or 2. A believer in philosophical optimism. Would a true believer take the same risk when the supposed love of his or her life is stacking the deck and rigging the table? When the pit boss, aka Cupid, is calling the shots on hidden camera, and is now working for the dark side? Is irrational optimism wearing the halo of the naive and pure, or is wannabe love as blind as the real thing?

Like summer fruit, relationships grow and ripen at different speeds; perhaps a red light, or at least a yellow one should be our guide, if we are in a vastly different place then the supposed object of our affections. If we are head over heels, and he or she is still standing upright, it might just be a sign to slow down and squeeze the fruit more carefully? When what we hear isn’t what we see, or when what we see isn’t what we hear, Darling Boys, Girls and Mike, it may be time to back away from the slot machine, take our chips with us, and observe our love interest from afar.

We may be having an encounter with that paragon of anti-love, “The Taker”. Although our friends and family can see it as clearly as if Austin Powers was trekking through Yosemite in a fuchsia wet suit, we can’t, unless we back off and take our wallets with us.

Takers come in various shapes and sizes and work from both sides of the gender pool. They are classified as Arm Candy, Gold Diggers, and Boy Toys. They also show up in a short or long- term marriage, when one gives and one takes endlessly. They will say and do whatever is needed to continue the steady stream of the good life in their direction; exchange for a faucet of hot and cold esteem aimed back at you.

Go outside, away from the glare of the blinking lights, and check the glass: you will find it not just half empty, but drained to the very bottom. Where is your self esteem now?

When one is really in love, the electricity is palpable to others, as they receive a small jolt from the fallout of sparks. It takes two to generate this evolved level of feeling. No one is hiding anything when feelings can be seen, heard and observed so clearly. When someone seems to be in love with your bank account, high end lifestyle, or a whirlwind trip to Paris, take time -out to see if something is really there or not.

An endless supply of stuff will only delay the eventual conclusion. Miss Kitty believes that the manifestations of true love can’t be simulated, although she must confess that a cubic zirconium looks an awful lot like a real diamond to the untrained eye. By the way Mike, try a simple sandwich on the beach, see what happens and keep me posted!

Have a naughty day!