Giving, getting, and getting it right

Dear Miss Kitty,
I have been going out with my BF for a little over a year. We have a great relationship, talk about the future and he acts like he loves me, but he has never said the magic words. He asked me what I wanted for Christmas and all I really want is for him to say, “I love you.” It may sound weird, but it is true and really what I want. I think he wants to but I wonder if I am setting myself here?
S.L, SANTA BARBARA


Dear Waiting:
When Christmas morning rolls around wouldn’t be amazing if under the fragrant tree, there was a pile of beautifully wrapped, empty boxes? Silky ribbons lavishly tied around them, they contain the invisible, but vitally important presents that really matter to us. Detailed instructions included of course, to make sure we understand both the value and the implied messages that are inherent in such precious gifts. Discover the tangible manifestations of what we need - alongside the harder-to-pin-down aspects of our ethereal wants.

Put “truth”, that most magnificent of all treasures right on the top of the pile, with all the tricky little accessories that come with it. The multitude of small parts that are so easy to lose, but necessary if the complex gift is going to work at full, honest capacity. If you are giving this priceless gift, you will need to purchase a guarantee- a lifetime guarantee which covers parts and labor. Lots of labor, for it is a labor of love to maintain this valuable bequest, and keep track of those tiny little pieces that don’t always seem important until you find one of them missing.

The next box, wrapped up in silver paper with a deep blue velvet bow, just screaming, “Open me first!” is “Time” The simple pleasure of more than a moment and less than a lifetime; the freeing satisfaction of having someone else do something special, just for you. When Miss K was a mere credit card-less kitten, scribbling away making homemade coupons for cups of tea and car washes, she never knew the value of what she was giving away. Now a grown up and perpetually busy cat, the idea of truly free time – time that is all yours - is on par with zero calorie cinnamon rolls. It’s always treasured to give of yourself, even if your tea-making skills would get you fired at the local Starbucks.

Wrapped in the most exquisite of wrappings, but of course the most difficult box to open, is “I love you.” The ultimate gift of no return and no exchange. You are not only giving of yourself, but making a commitment of never-ending work. This is the best sort of work – a true labor of love, but should never be given or taken duress.

This Lego like castle- of- love has endless pieces, instructions that are sometimes indecipherable and pending revision on most days. When the castle gets stepped on by life, it takes time and energy to put it back together again. When combined with the gift of truth and an unwavering commitment, sometimes the rebuild is even better and stronger than the original.

So darling Boys, Girls and S.L, when shopping this holiday season, think about what your giving, not what you are getting. Head to the mall of the ultimate gifts - where price is no object and the payment plans are always reasonable. You can wrap up some truth, throw in some time and know that your gift is not only as good as it gets, but the recipient will think it is even more precious and treasured than you could have ever imagined.
Have a naughty day!