Brain washing or true love?

Dear Miss Kitty,
I asked my mom how do you know if it is true love or if you are being brain washed? She said you would know.
Mira, SANTA BARBARA (age 13)


Dear Mira,
You know the immediate feeling of intense joy that follows the first lick on the face from a new puppy? As sweet as that wet kiss may be, it is nothing compared to the depth of love from an old and trusted dog. It’s not that we love the puppy any less, but puppy love has not had the opportunity to deepen beyond the excitement of the new and the euphoria of incredible cuteness. Real love takes time to grow - and it grows best in an emotionally mature place where the fence is just the right height.

A puppy is not capable of brain washing anyone, although the term “puppy dog eyes” would certainly make someone think so. No, a puppy's charms work their magic without the aid of any voodoo tricks. People, however, have the potential to as you say, “a bit of brain washing”. Once in a while, someone is a professional at this craft. Google “Gold digger” and “Gigolo” and then make sure you never can fit the description and if you meet someone that does, run away very fast. Using someone by pretending to like them or love them is one step away from brainwashing and possibly illegal in some states.

Although someone else can appear to put a brain though the rinse cycle and spin it, the real soaking is done by the “under-dog” herself. And that concept, as crazy as it may sound, is a wonderful thing to learn at 13. If you can really understand it and then live it, no one will ever stand a chance at “training” you the wrong way.
True love can be recognized by giving that possibly special someone the chance to be just that: true to you. Being true to someone takes time and a lot of work, and most of the work, isn't within the relationship. It is work on the self. So, before you can take puppy love to the next step you have to train yourself to know what is right and what is not for you. When you automatically know to listen to yourself (sit) and believe what you hear (stay) “The Washers” will never get a chance to load your brain with anything.

Love is not only a many-splendored thing, but something that continues to change as we change. What doesn't change (and is rule number one in Miss Kitty's Guide to Life and Love), is that the definition of love is defined by the receiver, not the giver. If love isn't received as we wish it, it will never feel quite right. This not-quite-right-feeling is a tip that perhaps the relationship isn't the one of your dreams.

Darling Mira, Boys and Girls, we all have the capacity and the intuition to know if it is brain washing or true love. We can only gauge the feelings correctly if we are willing to know ourselves really well and then accept that those little feelings of unease are our silver bullet. Just in case the cute little puppy is really a werewolf.
Have a naughty day!