Getting There Faster by Slowing Down

Dear Miss Kitty,
I woke up before the dawn today, and was busy working on a problem at my computer. Suddenly I noticed that morning had come and it was light out. I wondered if life is a lot like that. You start life and without really noticing what is happening, around you things change, then, suddenly you realize that life is not the way it was. Like while working on the computer I did not notice the dawn. Maybe we go about our lives not taking the time to notice all the subtle but important changes in our surroundings. The big changes we notice, for sure, but when you add up the important changes those are not the big ones- they are the tiny ones, little day by day things, that really matter. Like a goodnight kiss.
Thanks for listening, Ron, SANTA BARBARA



Dear Ron,
Home is where the heart is, a man’s home is his castle and where would we be without home sweet home? Home, where we can let down our hair and unwind, is hopefully where we are our most unguarded and therefore real selves. So if our physical home - the structure made of wood, concrete or brick - is where we feel we can be our most authentic self, why is it that within this most safe of places, we are often still struggling to be truly authentic? If we are not able to notice the dawn, our beloved - or even ourselves – just where are we living?

Is our inner foundation as solid as the one we walk upon? Are the rooms within the mind clutter free? Is the internal house easily maintained or riddled with rats? When we clean up the chaos and scramble to put the hodgepodge of life’s lessons in place, are we doing it because company is on the way or to feel that we are truly in control? After all, appearances do matter and we are judged by what others see.

Within a relationship, would you let your partner see your inner “house”? If not in a relationship, are you ready for someone to see your “house” as it really is? Is the floor plan open and easy to navigate? Are there so many skeletons in your closets that at any moment an aged and cracked femur might slip out and trip someone? Do you have any monsters under your bed, ready to scare the daylights out of someone dear who comes across it?

How we construct, decorate and use our “home” tells us volumes about where we are as a person - and therefore what will be reflected back to us in our relationships. As Ron said above, it is about the little things. It is knowing that you can always find what you are looking for because you have made a place for each value that you hold dear. It means what you are being within your mind is the same as what you show to the rest of the world. Pure congruence and clean as a whistle, regardless of company present or a day spent solo.

As a bricks and mortar home needs maintenance to stay safe and secure, so does the internal mansion. It needs conscious adjustment from time to time and a focused peace in which to do so. Without the clutter that is so many people’s everyday mental minefield, there can be the ability to just sit and appreciate not only the dawn but all the things that become precious when given a bit of attention.

Darling Ron, Boys and Girls, be it dawn, dusk or the still of midnight; knowing that your inner house is in order (not just “company clean”) gives you the gift of being able to calmly notice the important things. That is what it takes - and nothing less. When the mind is full of confusion and debris there is nowhere to sit down, nowhere to walk, without tripping - and certainly it is no place for anyone special to be invited over to!

Does this mean that we are going for a Better Homes and Gardens showplace at all times? Never! It is expected that as we do our internal work there may be a big mess to deal with. Clinical order or the illusion of tidy does not mean “clean”. Like the mess that comes with cooking a great dinner for twelve, with patience, a really good mop, and good hard work, the kitchen floor can always be found.

Have a naughty day!