Hidden Baskets

Dear Miss Kitty,
Someone once told me I was incapable of sustaining a romantic relationship. Once again, I am wondering if that just might be true after all since I can’t sustain the feeling of being in love. It is a terrible thought for me to consider, but is it possible that long term relationships just don’t work for some people? If so, what can I do to change this?
Anne, Santa Barbara




Dear Anne,
Another naive Spring is here in its infant- like manifestations. Green sprouts and pastel buds proudly burst forth as if they are the first plants ever to grace the earth. The sounds of fresh chirping and gusts of sweetly scented wind waft across the face and the memories of seasons past. The deep seeded and core belief that fresh and new is both eternally exciting with an enchantment all its own, is present in every sight and sound.

Like children looking for elusive chocolate rabbits, we are willing to search, at all costs, for what we know will be sweet and satisfying. With no time to waste, tearing off thin and glittery pink and green foil to indulge in a frenzy of unabashed indulgence is new romance. Putting aside, all that is reality, for the chance to live in a full and very content world.

We then sit with our baskets brimming over with tempting treats. Gazing upon our new found indulgences and sharing the prize with special friends, we relish the telling of our story. The miraculous adventure we had while hunting this treasure trove of delights. The heightened sense of accomplishment if one was particularly difficult to reach or hidden away from everyone else.

Then, it is all over. The pink grass becomes plastic shreds that are difficult to dispose of. The fantastic chocolate bunny is nothing now but a left over bit of tail. Long live Memorial Day Weekend! The truth of the matter is that newness is gone as fast as it comes and no one is on a honeymoon every day, regardless of what the story books say.

Real life with all its broken eggs and one handled baskets is most of what we live, most of the time. Out of 365 days a year, 13 days are recognized American holidays. 13 days out of 365…Does that ratio mean there is anything wrong with life? Are there not plenty of days in between the turkey and the red roses, the scary faces and the flag flying that count as worthwhile? It is the same within a long standing relationship. What is precious is sometimes hard to see when it is not spelled out in red letters or exploited by Hallmark. But it is there.

Darling Anne Boys and Girls, it is easy to feel in love when feeling in love is all that one is doing. It is hard to sustain a feeling that is based largely on newness and a whole bunch of chemicals (the legal kind that course though infatuated flesh). Sustaining a long term relationship is a lot like hunting candy at Easter. One must diligently believe that where and when one least expects it there are signs of love. And like the very best kind of chocolate bunnies, the signs will be solid, never hollow.

Have a naughty Easter!