Vows, Promises, and Warranties

Vows, Promises and Warranties
I am currently writing, with my beloved, our wedding ceremony. We decided that nothing already written could ever convey how we feel about each other and what marriage means to us. Through the process, a recurring question has been coming into my mind. When thinking through what you will promise to someone else, just who is the vow really for? It isn’t as obvious as you might think.

Why is it that for thousands of years, humans have decided that making a commitment to another is one of the highest spiritual, philosophical and sophisticated levels that we can obtain as mere mortals? A special day is set aside for our poignant pledges (or at the very least a poignant moment or two). But when we make a pledge to another human being, fully aware of our truth, are we making a promise, vow, and/or warranty for them - or for ourselves? Are we clarifying our love or our concerns? Is being fully aware the real answer?

Whether we are bride, groom or guest, weddings bring so much that is to be human to the forefront of our awareness. The moments experienced are so touching, even pain within the joy. Our own romances, past, present and future can flash across our memories while watching new memories being made. A wedding is not only a celebration of unity, it is the manifestation of a future that does not yet exist. It is a ceremony that focuses on our greatest of intentions through the vows we say - but is really limited to only anticipation of what we will do.

Love, and the promises we make in its light, are bound up in what we have learned from our past experiences and where we find ourselves now. On the special day, the present holds the promise of a future that is sparking, like crystal goblets in the sunlight. Wrapped up in silky gossamer threads, we make vows as part of a life that is yet unknown, except in pillow talk and of endless dreaming together.

Like lavender roses by the full moon, the future is mesmerizing, a brilliant light that teases from the dark of the unknown. And in the moment of right now, it is as perfect as the truths that a couple shares. That unknown future is a beacon, existing in the present that shines a clear light, which enables us to take our deepest and most sincere best and give it, with no strings attached, to our beloved in the form of a vow. Encased in such a love how could words not be anything but pure respect for our partner - and ourselves?

Is it possible to believe that, “to love, respect and forsake all others,” really means, “if you every cheat I will kill you and jail will be worth it?” Is that what we are asking? IS what we ask what we are afraid might happen? In this day and age of so many failed marriages, where wedding cake is messily forced into the mouth of a new spouse, and respect is as unusual as golden anniversaries, maybe it isn’t a wonder at all. It seems that promises can easily be broken, vows thrown away like last nights Chinese take-out, and rings, once treasured for the commitment they signified, melted down back into the nothingness they now represent.

Not a thread of fear, doubt or wedding jitters exists when a level of commitment is a deep and serious love. It is carried within every moment of time and piece of existence, giving no room for anything less than the highest level of integrity. That you can believe.

There can be moments of restlessness that might find its way into love, but with a lack of nothing, we are safe. We make and hear what our lover wishes to give us. It is an open and wondrous place of gentle peace and contentment.

When vows are said, it is nothing that has not already been spoken of. But in the presence of a sacred moment, time can stop to honor the vision that is being born. So Dear Boys and Girls, vows are something extraordinary, something indescribably brilliant…the opportunity to be divine for each other and for always. This may be carved from deep longing for something better than we have ever had, or something we have always held out for, but besides what is said, what we choose to give our lover as the best gift is hearing the boundless promises of raw and real love that we hear in our hearts, whenever our partner speaks.

Have a naughty day!