Mr. Johnson, Batman and the rituals of love

“Another bride, Another June; Another sunny honey moon. Another season, Another reason - For makin' whoopee. A lot of shoes, a lot of rice; the groom is nervous he answers twice. It’s so killin that he's so willin' - To make whoopee.”

To Miss Kitty, the shoe part has never made sense (unless this is the part where groom discovers bride's serious obsession with foot ware), but does the last refrain really tell it like it is?

A honeymoon, quoted 18th century writer, Samuel Johnson (or the 1769 version of Dr. Phil)…"is the first month after marriage, when there is nothing but tenderness and pleasure; having no reference to the period of a month, but comparing the mutual affection of newly-married persons to the changing moon which is no sooner full than it begins to wane". So… what happens when the honeymoon is over? Is “settling down”, settling? And if it is, settling for what exactly?

Throughout history, men and women have had some very different reasons for marriage. The evolution of what marriage means has also gone through some Cirque du Soleil style gyrations. Just what are the various roles that a husband and wife (or wife and wife or husband and husband) play? Sounds confusing, doesn’t it? Knowing your role, defining your part and embodying it on a daily basis, makes marriage a secure and safe harbor. There are schools of thought, (usually chaired by students playing with the concept of freedom) that say that true freedom has no rules. But rules actually allow us real freedom - and one of the rules of a successful relationship is really understanding your intimate role within it.

A loving partner, regardless of where one stands on the “business side” of a relationship, desires all the romantic aspects that are part and parcel of a long- term relationship. There are differences - and therein lie the ties that truly bind us, and confuse us.

To get really clear, lets start with the most basic and misunderstood desire of all: the desire of intimate loving. Believe it not, most woman hold that particular torch high up, just like the statue of liberty. This all-important flame cannot be quenched by financial comforts (or shoes) and there is a limit to what relationships outside the partnership can provide. (I am speaking of friends, and not THAT kind.)

When you choose a life-partner, there are attributes that must be part of the package. Put in another way, if you are choosing one golf buddy for the rest of your golfing career, they better know how to hit the ball into the hole. But unlike golf, intimacy within a long-term partnership brings a spiritual awareness like nothing else. Would the church elders agree that spiritually is a large component of the bedroom too?

I am not saying you don’t have to get up from bed and go to church because you are already “there”, but if you look closely, within the blanket of true love, there are some patterns very similar to a religious ceremony going on.

It is no accident that love has as many rituals as an Easter Service and no one would deny that when being in love and loving, there's a whole lot of spirituality going on. It is mistake to not acknowledge that there is great sanctity at work when a couple honors each other intimately.

“Holy crazy lusty platforms, Batman. I know she is getting married tomorrow, but this is going too far” “Get a grip Robin, she is only exploring the known bat-component of primary asymmetry in bat-intimacy, which means each part of the couple can concentrate on their bat-desires, outside of the bat-relationship, because within the intimate part of the bat-relationship there is this high level of spirit, explored and cemented though true bat-intimacy - and she is not just talking about bat-sex. And now to the bat-cave, Robin - I have a wedding to go to and I need my bat-tux.”

A wedding is just a starting place, not an end. A honeymoon is not a month or a first year, it is a way to be - forever. A conscience disciplined way of relating, with boundless rewards, which translates into a prosperous life, full of health, success and happiness that knows no bounds.

Have a VERY naughty day!

P.S. Due to the fact that Miss Kitty and RocketMan will be on their Honeymoon (oh behave!) Kitty in the City and Life Ain’t Rocket Science will be taking a break next week in the ever-fabulous Santa Barbara Daily Sound.