Miss Kitty’s “Guide to Keyboard Love” Chapter 3 - Profile Perfect

Dear Miss Kitty,
How do you write, in 250 words or less, clearly enough about yourself to convey who you really are? Can anyone do this successfully? Based upon this concern, I worry about the never ending process of having a cup of coffee and then realizing there is no connection. How do I convey the information necessary to that someone else has the best chance of knowing who I am sooner than later?
G


Dear G,
To get someone else to perk up and select our profile over the countless others available, takes putting forth a glowing enough personal synopsis to be intriguing, which is also heavily enough based in reality so there is a good chance of a connection when you actually meet. Apparently this is harder than making Mars a potential vacation destination within the next one hundred years. Is this part of the process really necessary? Couldn’t one just loosely sketch out a few likes and dislikes and rely on the whole thing being a numbers game?

Even though in many respects internet dating is a numbers game (don’t fool yourself - so is conventional dating) being really clear about who you are in this world has several benefits to the online dater. The better you know yourself, the easier it is to find that seemingly elusive relationship. When we focus on what we want, instead of what we don’t, someone wonderful is much more likely to find us and the only way to do that is to start the process with a well-written personal profile. Reality says there is no way anyone can convey everything within the space-limited structure that is allowed, but you can convey enough to make someone raise an eyebrow, smile and want to know more.

That is the idea behind a really good profile. Instead of saying you like red wine and old movies …get specific. “I like taking out a dusty bottle of red, that I have been saving from a tour of the Napa Valley and watching Rear Window with lots of pillows in the middle of the afternoon. “ This thirty five word scenario paints a picture that gives the reader a lot to think about. Not only will it elicit a better than average response, it will simultaneously weed out folks that would never understand why you would find that a nice way to pass the time and this particular factor is really important.

Not only does a profile give you an unprecedented way to explore who you are right now, it is like throwing a strong but little net right into the middle of what you want to catch, instead of a giant net, carelessly thrown just anywhere - that garnishes a lot of stuff you just have to throw back. Unless you really have a high tolerance for small talk and caffeine you want to work the weeding-out process from the beginning.

Have a naughty day!