Wedding Woes and Trial by Cake

Dear Miss Kitty,
Like you, I am getting married this fall. I LOVE my finance like nothing else and yet still have some uncomfortable feelings about being married. Everyone says it is just pre-wedding jitters, but how do you know the difference between jitters and a mistake? Help please?
Wary wearing white soon


Dear WWW,
How do you know the difference between love and like? Love and lust? Love and we really should have ended this at 3 months but I didn’t and now I don’t know how to get out? Love (Miss Kitty’s favorite topic) has many faces, and I suppose that is why it is a never ending source of all variations of questions. And speaking of questions, yours is great one.

First, I suggest you take the wedding component out of the equation. Unless you are a trained production manager, comfortable in sequins at the drop of hat, and know all the lyrics to A Chorus Line, you are likely not used to putting on lavish productions of the simple or complex variety. That, in it self, can breed all sorts of trepidiouos feelings - not to mention the dreaded wedding jitter that miraculously goes away the moment you say “I do”.

However, just in case this is the other variety of jitter, the more serious, “Am I making a huge mistake someone grab me a cab now!” here are my very best MK words of wisdom: TALK to him right away! Not your friends, not your mom, the man himself! If you can’t talk this through, completely and honestly, you should get back the deposit from the caterer now. All the Prime Rib and Stuffed Chicken Breasts in the world won’t make a bad choice better.

If he can, without judgment or fear, listen to your woes, the odds are very good that this is someone that will be there throughout the good, the bad and the ugly of your life and you his. Someone that is not threatened by “your stuff” is in a good place and someone that makes a healthy life partner. You are signing up for something that deserves your highest level of integrity at all times. Yes, you are literally making the commitment of a lifetime. Yours.

It can be easy to mistake love for lust, should have been friends, and the other entire close but no cigar scenarios that we find ourselves in. But dear Boys, Girls and WWW, one of my tests for true love that lasts forever is this: You are really good with the whole enchilada. There are no bad feelings about any aspects of your partner. You really accept - and that means REALLY accept - ALL that he or she is. There are no secret plans in the works to change, modify or manipulate after the frosting has dried on your face. It means you take them for everything they are and are not, with no hidden agendas whatsoever. If you can say that, you love him and are ready to get married. If you can’t, face it now, talk it through and if your worst fears are realized remember Miss Kitty’s favorite word in the English language: Next.


Dear Miss Kitty,
My fiancé wants 3 of her ex-boyfriends to come to our wedding. Is this cool?
Joe


Dear Joe,
Is this a wedding or a beefcake pageant? Oh, that was rude of me! Now, Joe, are these gentleman old and really good friends? Or is this one of those soirées where everyone that you have ever known is invited? If they are real friends and the lady wants them there, fine and get over it fast. If they are extras or she is showing them what they “missed”, the guest list should be reduced by 3! She won’t miss them and there will be more champagne for me. So, Joe where is the party?

Have a naughty day!