Mother Teresa and the Cone of Silence

We follow the teachings of those honorable individuals who speak to our souls. Those who have lived the highest caliber lives –role models like Christ, Martin Luther King, and Mother Teresa, have shown us the worthy and wise life paths. But what happens when we realize that the original teachings of the great ones have become corrupted? Although we revere the original, the now perverted, digested-until-unrecognizable ideals no longer serve us - but instead send us disgustedly running in the opposite direction?

Religion swings both ways; the good that is done can be easily undone by those who do not truly embrace nor understand the original concept. Just like the misconstrued concept of religion that we blame for so many of the wrongs seen throughout history, sex - a truly simple and pure concept - is no exception to the lets-mess-it-up-and–ruin-it-for-everyone rule.

Suppose Yoda was teaching a Jedi class on intimacy. Armed with nothing but a light saber (vibrating at a low but powerful frequency), and dressed in a casual robe, he would repeat the same lesson over and over again to the oblivious Jedi wannabes. Finally, a fed-up Yoda would exclaim in Yoda-speak: “Great lover I am, but what are you? Wish upon the Death Star, you must, as purpose you have none! Membership in class, cancel you will, or meet three times a day until you learn sex is controlled entirely by mind – or until your light saber batteries dead they are, whichever comes first!”

A Jedi lover can never retire, according to the secret lessons of Yoda; not unless his or her mind is captured by the dark side, and forced to decline from any real sexual practices. Once Darth Vader (with his very heavy breathing) has enveloped your sexuality, the force is no longer with you, and you have become nothing but a slave (and not the good kind) to an artificial and phony perversion of what physical love actually is.

Intimacy, and open sexuality, have had some excellent proponents throughout history. From the pseudo teachings of Hugh Hefner, (attempting to bring sexuality into the open, and fake bosoms into vogue.) to the Kama Sutra, (attempting to make sex and chiropractic therapy one.), it appears that those who attempt to take human sexuality into the light, succeed for only a limited amount of time. It is the ultimate story of one step forward, and three steps back.

Take the G-Spot for example. Dr. Gräfenberg was trying to do a good thing: identify and confirm a source of pleasure. Great job until it came to the naming. G- Spot? Sounds like it’s harder to find than Cuba on a 1950’s elementary school map. G-Region! Now that sounds like something that’s easy and friendly to find - not esoteric, mysterious, and lost in the Bermuda Triangle!

It is distressing to Miss Kitty, that something as innocent as sex can be so lost, distorted and confusing. We are like Maxwell Smart, inside the Cone of Silence, straining desperately to hear important information on CHAOS, being screamed by “Chief”! We try our best to hear what is relevant and good, while we are so easily bombarded by the ultimate dark side of sex: the Darth-Vader internet with its easy-to-participate-in, cheap-and-tawdry, repugnant forms of anti-sex.

Since the beginning, humans have been figuring out what works and what doesn’t; what is acceptable and what isn’t; what is possible and what is not. Like Maxwell Smart, we look for secret rooms, doors and Cones of Silence, in order to find a safe and quiet place, where we can discover the truth for ourselves. Boys and Girls, you do not need a Jedi master or mistress to steer you clear of the dark side, and teach you the highly spiritual art of lovemaking - just a clear conscience about your own personal sense of right and wrong - and really good lube!

Have a naughty day!