Dog House Flowers and The Scribbler

Dear Miss Kitty,
Help! My GF just broke up with me and gave me no specific reason why. I have sent flowers and text messages, and she is not responding to anything. All I know is she thought I was somewhat controlling, which I don’t think I am. What can I do to get her back?
Out of ideas but not love



Dear Out -
Super heroes are part of our culture; tortured souls that save the day to save themselves. Obviously, being super doesn’t always work. We don’t see Batman, throwing in the Bat Towel or Spider Man figuring out that a web of deception can tangle you up tighter than a spandex suit in August. They fight the same heroic fight over and over again and never look beyond the poison lipstick right in front of their eyes - even when the same poison was used in a different shade just last week.

When the writing is on the wall, it might as well be written in invisible ink. Even if we choose to decipher some of what we see, we don’t want to believe that our beloved is slipping or charging off into the sunset without us. It is easier to believe that the relatively unknown, but thoroughly evil arch villain, The Scribbler, has been secretly leaving the messages for us.

Trying to decipher cryptic codes, the complex graffiti of love gone South, or the unmistakable scent of “I am done,” (also known as the obscure Channel fragrance Number 86), is painful and frustrating! Just where did it all go wrong? There is rarely one particular moment where it “all went wrong”. There are many moments that, when added up, lead to destination: Return to Sender - with neon lights flashing and signage all along the way.

The one step forward, two steps back method is better left to the Cha Cha Cha, then a relationship. Miss Kitty has never thought much of relationships that are on and off again more times than late night re-runs of Superman. Tension and angst are signs unto themselves, even if a partner doesn’t choose to speak up when things are rocky or when you think all systems are go.

Holy crazy communication concept Batman! Superheroes and super villains don’t seem to realize the value in talking, so they tie each other up, spray spooky concoctions and generally cause mischief and mayhem, all trying to get the poor superhero just to change her super-behavior. Of course we all know (DON’T WE?) that other people don’t change other people’s behavior. Have you ever seen Mr. Freeze thaw just because Cat Woman thought it would be fun for the weekend? No, he stays absolutely rigid and frigid at all times.

Unfortunately there isn’t a comic strip “speak bubble” over our heads at all times so that everyone else can figure just what’s up doc. So dear Boys, Girls and Out of Ideas: without a doubt when someone does the leaving, the ball is soundly in their court. Anything you do at this point will only serve to prove in uncertain terms, that you are indeed a bit on the controlling side. Time on the other hand will show up one of several scenarios: 1. He or She really is done and you will get over it. 2. He or she might just want to talk after some time has elapsed. 3. You realize that after the commercial break, you would rather watch another channel altogether. Stay tuned in and know how to roll with the punches, when to take a hiatus, and when to try on a new pair of tights!

Have a naughty day!