Will you be my kind of Valentine?

When I was a little kitten, Valentine’s Day had all the promise of True Romance. Third grade Romantics- in- training, gave each other handmade Valentine’s and candy hearts that said “Kiss Me”, Be Mine” and “True Love”. Now the same candy hearts, that make a once a year appearance, read like a trashy novel. Today’s five calorie message is “Eat Me”, “Suck Me”, and Miss Kitty won’t even convey to you some of the others! (Put your mind in the gutter and keep going, yup just like that).

What happened to romance? Did it leave the building like Rodney Dangerfield, because it wasn’t getting any respect? Did it become shy and scared, and is hiding out in Cuba with Castro? Like a priceless piece of art, what would it take to restore romance to its original glory?

Real romance is innocent and playful, as well as mischievous and rewarding. It fills our heart- shaped souls as nothing else can. Behind the bakers pristine glass case, true romance beckons with all the decadence and, yes, wholesomeness, for which one justifies eating an éclair. There is lots of calcium in that cream after all!

A piece of precious pastry should never be rushed. One slowly and carefully revels in each individual and separate taste and texture. The satin of dark chocolate, the smoothness that lingers on the roof of the mouth, the delicate layers of air trapped between pastry that was freshly and lovingly made to entice and nourish the soul.

We don’t just want bread. The rest of life is bread. We want something delectable hidden in a pink box, tied up with a black satin ribbon, that appears at midnight, in bed, with a glass of Champagne. Something extravagant that one could easily get used to. Why shouldn’t an éclair become a basic requirement? Is it extravagant to have the best? Are we really just scared that we couldn’t maintain such a high level of quality in a relationship?

When raising the bar one has to stretch, and real growth is painful. To look deep into ourselves and take stock of who we are as men and women takes experiences to reflect upon, and that only comes with time and solo vacations to the top of the mountain.

Alone, with no distractions, we can look down upon the landscape of our lives and contemplate where we have been and why. We can unmask the pain and recognize the promise of what we yearn for. Only when we are true to ourselves, can we be true to someone else. That is when we have something worthy to give. So boys and girls, take a long hard look at where you find yourself today, and thank your lucky stars that everything that has happened to you has made you the wise and lovable self that you are. Then, star by star come down off the mountain, and live your dreams by the light of the sun.

You may now believe that anything and anyone is possible. Did you bring home, firmly in hand, a chart of just where you want to be? A powerful telescope to keep an accurate eye out for something special in the distance? A pocket full of candy hearts that say, “I love you”? If so, you are then in range and on target for Cupid.

Dear Miss Kitty,
What is the right time to move into a horizontal relationship? We have been enjoying each others company, vertically for 3 months now and I don’t want to make a mistake.
Ms. Southern Belle

Dear Ms. Belle,
Well honey, fix me a mint julep and let’s talk! Assuming the health and safety questions have been answered this comes down letting go of expectations and being in the now. A 3 month Spanish Inquisition can revel everything you need to know, other times, you’re just scratching the surface. You know the man honey, not me! If you listen to your body parts, in descending order, brain, heart, etc…. you should come up with what is right for you. And what is right for you, is all that matters. Enjoy the BBQ!

Entertaining, enlightening and downright soul destroying answers have been pouring in for the “Why do people cheat?” contest. My panel of experts is looking for insight into the question of the century, so email your words of wisdom to help@dearmisskitty.com A prize? Dinner with me, or your own date, at Fresco at the Beach. Your answer will be published in the Valentine’s Day edition of the Daily Sound.