Fantasy, Frontier and “Practical Land”

If successful relationships were easy, every one would have one. Isn’t that what they used to say about everything other than a relationship? It seems as though it was easier to find work during the Depression than a lifelong partner in this day and age. The truly- successful- happily- ever-after relationship is akin to discovering a new and very distant planet, with life on it. Good, maybe there is someone on it to date!

Our excellent dating credentials don’t guarantee anything and what does it take for someone to recognize that we are good catch? Not a good catch of the day. You would think that someone, like Walt Disney, gifted at fantasy and business would have had it figured out. Did he have a bad ride in “Fantasyland”? Maybe that explains his “Frontier Land” approach to relationships. He managed to slip many of his unsuspecting teen brides into the waiting arms of teen princes without the supposed puritanical 50’s audience ever batting a false eyelash. All those girls had to do was lose a shoe, fall asleep or take fruit from a stranger to get a guy. None of those actions were very proactive! Holy $8 ice cream bar Batman, does acting dumb actually work?

The simplest ride at Disneyland, “It’s a Small World”, is also the most popular. Really! Men line up for hours just to sit in a little boat, being rocked by gentle waters, doing absolutely nothing. They are surrounded by beautiful girls, scantily clad in their native costumes. Oh yes, and they are all about waist high. It’s like watching the Super Bowl just for the Half Time Show. Is being a grown up, with grown up expectations, aspirations, and a life to take care of, just too much work?

Except for the Fallible Fairies, Evil Stepmothers, and Wicked Witches, there are no “women” of substance to help Cinderella, Snow White, Beauty, Jasmine, and The Little Mermaid. The tender teens are on their own with no moms. Alright, Dumbo had a mom, but she was taken away in chains and I can’t even go into the Bambi thing! The boys don’t get an E ticket ride either. Prince Charming never mentions his parents; Aladdin is an orphan and Peter Pan? A love- hate relationship with an older man with a hook. Miss K’s favorite? A 16 year old teen living with 7 guys, all with a size complex!

You know that popcorn shouldn’t cost $9, but if you have never seen or experienced a healthy and normal adult relationship, would you know it if you had it? You don’t learn much about life singing to blue birds and wearing big dresses in the woods. The only advice you get from talking chipmunks is where to hide your nuts.

Take off your mouse ears, boys and girls; it is time to leave the theme park and don’t take the pumpkin, you will smell bad and get seeds in your hair. Living a fantasy is really chaos in the making. It is the everyday that ultimately counts, so don’t be shy about sharing 3 years of tax returns, a clean bill of health and meeting the friends and family early. “Practical Land” is worth standing in line for and you know what happens after you do dishes together…

Have a naughty day!

Entertaining, enlightening and downright soul destroying answers have been pouring in for the “Why do people cheat?” contest. My panel of experts is looking for insight into the question of the century, so email your words of wisdom to help@dearmisskitty.com A prize? Dinner with me, or your own date, at Fresco at the Beach. Your answer will also be published in the Valentine’s Day edition of the Daily Sound.