Planes,Trains and I Love You

When boiling an egg, setting up a job interview or catching a plane, timing is everything. Is the timing in asking all the right questions as crucial in a relationship? Does it really matter when you speak of love? Does the fact that timing plays a top billing role tell you all you need to know? Before you ring the door bell, brush anything off your shoes that you don’t want to carry into the completely clean house of 2007. In the year of James Bond, everything is going to be shaken, not stirred.

If we could look into our heads while we are ascertaining just what to ask, and when to ask it, we would see the equivalent of ants going back and forth with no apparent reason. But if we had a clear cut directive of exactly what to say, and even better, when to put it out there, wouldn’t that be a picnic!

Alas Goldilocks, that is never going to happen. It’s part of the courtship dance at month 3 or year 7. Wouldn’t it be comforting to have some of the biggest questions set in cement? Hopefully more like Hollywood Boulevard handprints than the Jimmy Hoffa footwear line!

Right along with A, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” or B, “Out of sight out of mind”, is the eternal C, “Should I ask if love is there?” A good negotiator knows that the first one who talks loses. Does it come down to critical planning? Do we need a whiteboard and colored pens for strategy? Should we have studied the finer points of “Battleship” instead of wasting our youth playing “Yahtzee”?

There is quite a bit to do before climbing out upon the limb-of-no-return, because you can’t go back on “I love you". Once it is out there, it’s like chocolate mousse on a white dress, and speaking of white dresses, is all that white blinding us from the truth?

Saying a name into a mirror three times fogs up the mirror, and alcohol is not truth serum. Pushing someone to say anything that they are not ready to say has a legal connotation. It’s called COERCION! Anything used in a court of law is better left alone. Besides, the shotgun approach will always backfire and you will forever wonder what might have been if you had waited.

If you can’t wait boys and girls, and you don’t hear, feel or see any evil, maybe it’s time to crawl slowly along the limb. Ignore your heart beating like the drums at Mardi Gras, and since you might be there awhile, bring a picnic. You’ll be so intriguing, someone wonderful might join you. If not, enjoy the view from your beautiful and brave heart.
_________________________

Dear Miss Kitty,
I am a recently divorced guy and thinking about dating. I have had sex with the same woman for the last 16 years and just the thought of someone else, even though it does seem exciting, makes me a bit nervous. Thoughts?
-Sitting on the Fence of Love

Dear Fence,
So, you're worried about getting splinters... I understand. Sex with a new partner can be a bit daunting at first, but not all women have a legal pad by the bed and are taking notes. So, congrats for being so brave! My best kept secret is to learn each other slowly. That's what I call "Safe sex". It means that by the time you turn down the lights, snuggle close and kiss each other into the yes zone, you will have a good sense of what she likes and that she likes you. Sex is just like cooking: we never stop learning. So read up on technique, practice, and if she needs a little more salt, don't take it personally. Just adjust the seasoning accordingly.

A very special Happy New Year to Dr. W (My 106 year old fan!)