Trust, Ethics and Who's on First?

Read any profile on a dating site and you will find "trustworthy" right next to "likes romantic walks on a beach". A basic, plain as the Pinocchio nose on your face, value.

We cherish, demand and yet seem to wiggle all around the rules of the game. When we are given a key to the valuable contents of someone’s heart, easily and early on, do we question the trust handed to us and value it as lightly as a Dodger Dog? Must we earn trust to value it?

We all know what trustworthy means. It is like blue. We all perceive different shades, blue sky or the blue of under eye circles from too much crying, but it is still blue.

Kindergarten teaches kind and caring before reading and writing. Rules to live by, long after the finger paint has dried. What happens when someone skids into home plate and insists they are safe when you both know they are out? Is it a case of misunderstanding or just lying to ourselves that someone is as honorable as they would have us believe? Where is the shelter when it rains so hard the dugout is leaking?

We live by rules. Democratic, autocratic, the slipper rule your mom made up (there is not a bill in Congress about this one, trust me). If you don’t obey the rules you can end up in the dog house or “The Big House”. Sometimes all the “dog house flowers” and lawyers in the world can’t get you out. Like knowing which fork to pick up at a formal dinner party, rules smooth out the furrows in the unknown fields of life.

We have spoken and unspoken rules in a relationship. With the latter, you are on your own, “Pay to Play” philosophy. You pay if you mess up, but then, you know the rule. Putting it all out ahead of time lets the players digest and make sure they are really ready to sign on the dotted line. Girls and boys, obey the rules. Some up front, most as you go along, and a few to break together… because occasionally a rule is meant to be broken.

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Dear Miss Kitty,
Why do old men find it necessary to date extremely younger women? Don’t they know they are ruining these girls’ chances of finding someone their own age to fall in love and have a family with? Not to mention how stupid they look dating someone who looks like their granddaughter!
-Erika Cane

Dear Erika Cane,
First and foremost, you are fabulous and although you know it (a good thing ala Martha S.), it is not surprising that you come up with the question that has baffled goddesses down through the ages. Filmy white togas aside, there are as many reasons as there are erectile dysfunction meds. Not many. There is the blind hope that some of that creamy youth might actually rub off. After all, he is being gazed upon by unabashedly naive eyes that don't have the experience to know what they are really looking at. If in the fragile breeze of a recent break up, especially if it is a long term marriage, he can delay the eventual appointment with Dorian Grey. Darling, it won't last. Never does. Think of her as a cheap Band-Aid with James Bond on it, instead of Barney! When he pulls her off, because she isn't as cool as he thought, it will sting and he will have to find a healthy way to heal his wounds. As far as the stupid comment, now now darling. You have heard the expression, give him enough rope....

Have a naughty day!